Coming to terms with CTB

[flowersforalgernon:]

Over the past month or so I've been reminiscing, and I've experienced a lot in my short time here. Met many people, fell in and out of love. My memories remind me how much I have done, but also that I can't experience anything close to the joy I used to feel again. I'll miss the kind people I used to know, but I am no longer myself.
I almost feel at peace with the idea of CTB soon. There's this strange sense of calm it brings me. I'm hoping the SN method is as peaceful as people say it is, and I hope I'm not found before I go. Everything will be still and nothing will hurt anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be a relief to feel calm about ctb. I am at peace with the thought of dying, non existence is all that I look forward to. Life is so temporary and meaningless but at the same time so painful and depressing. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[flowersforalgernon:]

I can imagine that it must be a relief to feel calm about ctb. I am at peace with the thought of dying, non existence is all that I look forward to. Life is so temporary and meaningless but at the same time so painful and depressing. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

Thank you for these kind words. It sounds silly because we're literally on a suicide forum, but I hope you're okay and find some way to dissipate your pain. I admit the nothingness scares me but every day I wake up and come closer to catching that bus. It would be better to be nothing than to wake up and be me.