.canyouhearme

[evilnkaa]

I don't know why I'm here. What am I? Who am I? All my life my father told me in life you want to be remembered as someone. I feel like my entire life purpose is to fall in love and die. I don't believe someone like me can ever achieve, "love status". No matter how many people have told me I need to "wait""let it come to me""when the time is right".... All of it is bullshit. I've waited for things to come my way and I got SA'd. It feels like the entire world is against me. I dont have a purpose anymore. I dont want to be here anymore. I don't want to keep going. I'm so sick and tired. I'm such a fucking loser. I'm so greedy. I know I'm my biggest hater. I feel like im too much for ppl and I don't believe I deserve anyone. I don't know what to do.

 

[nonameno5]

you are heard. i know replies like this are frowned upon here (?) but ill say it anyway. i KNOW its hard to believe, but you are here for a reason my dear. and you don't have to know or understand it quite yet. youll probably die not knowing. and thats a terrible spiral to go down. but its just the truth.

ultimately living is a choice and its a hard one to make. you don't have to make any sort of decision now, most people don't have to "decide" to keep on living they just do and i wish i could understand those people and their outlook on life but unfortunately i cant. all we can do is try and live for what MIGHT happen. but cant we make it kind of worthwhile? everyone can have their own way of doing so but personally i try and spend my time here on earth doing what i can to help. help the earth, humans, animals…. whatever comes my way. if i feel like im not doing so effectively then i go down this same spiral that you are.

you dont need to find your purpose. you dont need a lover. you dont have to "wait" and "let it come to you". try and make the change. find something or someone to live for. a friend, a pet, something you want to accomplish. it doesnt need to be one thing it can be multiple.

i know its hard. it is. the happiest people are the ones most unaware, why else would everyone wish they were the innocent naive children they once were again?

im sorry this reply is so unhelpful. i really dont know what to say to truly help you. but i hope replying will atleast make you feel heard. i hope i did anything for you at all.