cant get over Survival instinct and fear of death

[david1991]

i seem to be thinking about my future suicide but theres like a mental block on me acting on it, plan to use partial hanging have a perfect setup for it already tested for 5 seconds does anyone have tips for making that final step

 

[LenkaX]

I couldn't just hang myself. I will go the Amitriptyline way which should be very peaceful, you just fall asleep and that's it.

 

[Painless_end]

I also have too much Survival instinct so far in life

 

[fastFWD]

thinking about my miserable life and the losses surrounding it coupled with sad af music works for me.
like I don't want to be here so there isn't any hesitation. I can't wait to die and end this torture.

 

[profoundexperience]

I'm going pretty soon (never attempted before) and plan to use the following methods to deal with "acting on it"/SI (but I'm very interested in hearing others' suggestions/ideas):

1. Lots of practicing/rehearsals, with "pretending"/visualizing I'm actually doing it... so there are few mechanical surprises during the actual ending & so I really try to mentally face the doubts and SI -- BEFOREHAND. My goal is to develop "muscle memory" for the physical actions & "letting be" for the mental/emotional stuff that I fully expect to arise.
2. I have made a list of "affirmations"/reasons to read at the end -- so I'm completely clear & can cement my logic and convictions just before acting.
3. The method I chose is very fast-acting (inert gas). Yours is pretty fast too (which is good). I think choosing either a fast or irreversible method is very important.
4. When I pull the bag over my head, I am thinking of that as my "point of no return": Although doubts/SI may arise after that point... that action is what I'm considering as my "true decision"... The etymology of the word "decision" is very interesting = it means literally "to cut off from"... coming from de "off" + caedere "to cut". My "point of no return"/"true decision" is where I "cut off" (part ways with) the alternative of continuing to live this life of wretched suffering for no good purpose.
5. My "Break In Case of emergency" Contingency: For last second doubts/SI during the act, I plan to "hold on and slowly count to 10". Don't stop impulsively (especially after having just moments ago having made my "true decision" at my "point of no return")! If after a count of 10, and reconsidering everything, I'm absolutely sure I do want to live... ok.
6. Of course, all those (especially #5 arising) SHOULD BE PRACTICED/SIMULATED -- beforehand: Pretend it's actually happening (and maybe even that I've already lost some mental capacity) & strong SI comes-up... Can I pull it together and JUST count to 10 before stopping? I'm even practicing how to feel if I give-in to SI and stop.

 

[LifeSucks39]

I couldn't just hang myself. I will go the Amitriptyline way which should be very peaceful, you just fall asleep and that's it.

Where do you find Amitriptyline?

 

[LenkaX]

Where do you find Amitriptyline?

From my psychiatrist. I already tried SSRI antidepressants which didn't helped whatsoever so I told him that I want Amitriptyline. He prescribed me it but I don't take it, I just save all the tablets for my CTB.

 

[I screwed up]

I know SI is a real bitch .. Has been keeping me here till now .. Also the fact that I m chicken and a gutless dick .

 

[profoundexperience]

...the fact that I m chicken and a gutless dick .

Do you know why you have those feelings, specifically?

Feelings of fear usually come from thoughts of danger... Are there specific "dangers" you're thinking about?

For me there is much and many more dangers in continuing life (not to mention the inevitable, uncontrolled death regardless), than dangers in stopping this horror, now.

theres like a mental block on me

What is the thinking behind the "mental block"?

 

[Deleted member 17949]

To be honest there is no good solution I can recommend to survival instinct. The reality is that killing yourself is scary, and most people that do it are either worn down to a point where they don't care or are having some kind of impulsive episode. Sadly just as you can't reason with yourself to be happy you can't reason your way past fear of death entirely.

 

[profoundexperience]

most people that do it are either worn down to a point where they don't care or are having some kind of impulsive episode.

I very much appreciate how you said that, @cryptic__egg! And, I completely agree.

I'm in the "warn down" (resigned) category. And also, as an engineer, I like to think ahead... in terms of "countermeasures".

But, what you said and some things @falloutcarter13* said (where he alluded to being "on autopilot" during some of his attempts) gave me an additional insight: Try to get into an impulsive/"Just Do It" state of mind.

* May he be at peace.

 

[Breadbfra]

I very much appreciate how you said that, @cryptic__egg! And, I completely agree.

I'm in the "warn down" (resigned) category. And also, as an engineer, I like to think ahead... in terms of "countermeasures".

But, what you said and some things @falloutcarter13* said (where he alluded to being "on autopilot" during some of his attempts) gave me an additional insight: Try to get into an impulsive/"Just Do It" state of mind.

* May he be at peace.

He was amazing, I hope he's in a best place now.

 

[bigdog]

I have a different problem. I can't accept my faith. I mean I desperately want to get back in time but it is impossible. Everything was perfect...
I have no other choice unfortunately

 

[Pan]

Respectfully, there is only one way to overcome these difficulties—full suspension hanging.

 

[alexit]

i seem to be thinking about my future suicide but theres like a mental block on me acting on it, plan to use partial hanging have a perfect setup for it already tested for 5 seconds does anyone have tips for making that final step

Tips depend on obstacles. What's driving your SI? Would you mind expanding on that?

 

[Pan]

I'm going pretty soon (never attempted before) and plan to use the following methods to deal with "acting on it"/SI (but I'm very interested in hearing others' suggestions/ideas):

1. Lots of practicing/rehearsals, with "pretending"/visualizing I'm actually doing it... so there are few mechanical surprises during the actual ending & so I really try to mentally face the doubts and SI -- BEFOREHAND. My goal is to develop "muscle memory" for the physical actions & "letting be" for the mental/emotional stuff that I fully expect to arise.
2. I have made a list of "affirmations"/reasons to read at the end -- so I'm completely clear & can cement my logic and convictions just before acting.
3. The method I chose is very fast-acting (inert gas). Yours is pretty fast too (which is good). I think choosing either a fast or irreversible method is very important.
4. When I pull the bag over my head, I am thinking of that as my "point of no return": Although doubts/SI may arise after that point... that action is what I'm considering as my "true decision"... The etymology of the word "decision" is very interesting = it means literally "to cut off from"... coming from de "off" + caedere "to cut". My "point of no return"/"true decision" is where I "cut off" (part ways with) the alternative of continuing to live this life of wretched suffering for no good purpose.
5. My "Break In Case of emergency" Contingency: For last second doubts/SI during the act, I plan to "hold on and slowly count to 10". Don't stop impulsively (especially after having just moments ago having made my "true decision" at my "point of no return")! If after a count of 10, and reconsidering everything, I'm absolutely sure I do want to live... ok.
6. Of course, all those (especially #5 arising) SHOULD BE PRACTICED/SIMULATED -- beforehand: Pretend it's actually happening (and maybe even that I've already lost some mental capacity) & strong SI comes-up... Can I pull it together and JUST count to 10 before stopping? I'm even practicing how to feel if I give-in to SI and stop.

You asked for suggestions/ideas. Respectfully, might I suggest full suspension hanging? It is cheap, quick and relatively painless. You are free.

To be honest there is no good solution I can recommend to survival instinct. The reality is that killing yourself is scary, and most people that do it are either worn down to a point where they don't care or are having some kind of impulsive episode. Sadly just as you can't reason with yourself to be happy you can't reason your way past fear of death entirely.

full suspension hanging nixes survival instinct; you don't have the time to reconsider.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

If you are still uncertain about full suspension, try greasing your hands when you do it. No way back.

 

[Pan]

He was amazing, I hope he's in a best place now.

All of you are downright amazing!