BeautifulMosaics
Specialist
- Aug 15, 2021
- 310
I'm on SSRI Escitalopram but have been tried Sertraline, Wellbutrin, Venlafaxine for about 3 years. I think I have treatment resistant apathy/depression. I only "rush" to take my tablets when I'm going somewhere or work (2 days a week) which is rare. Otherwise I just let the day pass and seem to feel slightly worse for not taking my tablets but even when I do they don't do much.
I know some people out there are depressed or feel apathetic but keep themselves busy to run away from it but I'm just not that kind of person. I've been in my room practically since the age of 16 (8 years), other than A levels or work - no real socialisation or participating in society.
I think I have an avoidant personality disorder, I think stimulants would help but you can't get that without an ADD diagnosis and I tried that and was rejected. It sucks not being "sick" enough to get help but struggling all the same - bounded by your mind and nature. The one thing about having an apathy/passivity disorder is that it is the one type of issue that practically stops you from improving yourself. You need motivation and drive to get up and change and take charge of your life, even most people with depression are very functional and achieve so much which I honestly used to be skeptical about.. How can you be depressed and function and achieve? But now I'm seeing I may have a seperate issue.. This is going to kill me.
I think there is definitely a disorder regarding this that I have that hasn't been discovered yet.
I know some people out there are depressed or feel apathetic but keep themselves busy to run away from it but I'm just not that kind of person. I've been in my room practically since the age of 16 (8 years), other than A levels or work - no real socialisation or participating in society.
I think I have an avoidant personality disorder, I think stimulants would help but you can't get that without an ADD diagnosis and I tried that and was rejected. It sucks not being "sick" enough to get help but struggling all the same - bounded by your mind and nature. The one thing about having an apathy/passivity disorder is that it is the one type of issue that practically stops you from improving yourself. You need motivation and drive to get up and change and take charge of your life, even most people with depression are very functional and achieve so much which I honestly used to be skeptical about.. How can you be depressed and function and achieve? But now I'm seeing I may have a seperate issue.. This is going to kill me.
I think there is definitely a disorder regarding this that I have that hasn't been discovered yet.
