What a past six months it has been.
I'm stuck living with my ex (we have a child) and have been for a long time.
I am not working due to my mental health struggles, so trying to get my own place is impossible right now.
I didn't realise how hard it would be.
Local housing has a 6,000 people waiting list, so I am not a priority in their eyes.
My ex and I split after such a rough time. We have lived together due to lack of options. I felt that if I applied for a private let, I could financially afford it.
Great, I even got a place and all they needed was a guarantor.
The only person I have is my dad, who is refusing to sign for it. I even suggested going through a guarantor scheme if he didn't feel happy about it, but wouldn't sign for that either.
I have become so withdrawn, I can't even meet anyone because - who wants to be with someone still living with their ex who they have a kid with?
I find myself closed in my room in the dark as that's the only place I feel ok in.
Today was particularly hard as my dad wasn't even willing to hear what I needed to say. I have bipolar disorder and he hasn't even phoned to ask how I'm doing.
I have pretty strong meds now, but I know what I'd rather to with them, than take them therapeutically.
Last week I found out the course I applied for, I wouldn't get the funding needed as I used it up 10 years ago on a course that got me nowhere.
I really hoped it would have helped.
I also had met the man of my dreams. Only he turned out to be an absolute prick and replaced me with another girl right in front of me. We had been chatting for a long time as friends and of course, when certain men get their fill, they throw it in your face.
So all these rejections in such a little time takes its toll on the mind.
I feel like a useless piece of crap.
Today I couldn't stop thinking how it would be to just go to the cliffs later and end it all. I kept picturing it so vividly and even how I may land.
It's such a romantic picture to me right now as I feel I am in a prison, nothing is progressing..it's been a slow, progressive downturn of events.
Today I realised I can't take it anymore.
Yes, I have my daughter, but she is young and might not remember me so much at least.
She will be okay with those around.
I am worse for her as I am no use looking after anyone right now. (She is safe and supported by others at least).
I just don't see a future for me at this rate. I really don't.
I feel so close to ending it.
I'm stuck living with my ex (we have a child) and have been for a long time.
I am not working due to my mental health struggles, so trying to get my own place is impossible right now.
I didn't realise how hard it would be.
Local housing has a 6,000 people waiting list, so I am not a priority in their eyes.
My ex and I split after such a rough time. We have lived together due to lack of options. I felt that if I applied for a private let, I could financially afford it.
Great, I even got a place and all they needed was a guarantor.
The only person I have is my dad, who is refusing to sign for it. I even suggested going through a guarantor scheme if he didn't feel happy about it, but wouldn't sign for that either.
I have become so withdrawn, I can't even meet anyone because - who wants to be with someone still living with their ex who they have a kid with?
I find myself closed in my room in the dark as that's the only place I feel ok in.
Today was particularly hard as my dad wasn't even willing to hear what I needed to say. I have bipolar disorder and he hasn't even phoned to ask how I'm doing.
I have pretty strong meds now, but I know what I'd rather to with them, than take them therapeutically.
Last week I found out the course I applied for, I wouldn't get the funding needed as I used it up 10 years ago on a course that got me nowhere.
I really hoped it would have helped.
I also had met the man of my dreams. Only he turned out to be an absolute prick and replaced me with another girl right in front of me. We had been chatting for a long time as friends and of course, when certain men get their fill, they throw it in your face.
So all these rejections in such a little time takes its toll on the mind.
I feel like a useless piece of crap.
Today I couldn't stop thinking how it would be to just go to the cliffs later and end it all. I kept picturing it so vividly and even how I may land.
It's such a romantic picture to me right now as I feel I am in a prison, nothing is progressing..it's been a slow, progressive downturn of events.
Today I realised I can't take it anymore.
Yes, I have my daughter, but she is young and might not remember me so much at least.
She will be okay with those around.
I am worse for her as I am no use looking after anyone right now. (She is safe and supported by others at least).
I just don't see a future for me at this rate. I really don't.
I feel so close to ending it.
Last edited:
