CryWolf
Oh the things I learned when sorrow walked with me
- Feb 4, 2022
- 17
I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember. I've never bought a gun or had one because that's my method of choice and it scared me.
Now, I've just turned 30. I lost my career, my exes, all my friends, my self respect and ability to communicate. I live in the ghetto, my family doesn't care about me and to top it all off, the only person I've ever loved is an abusive alcoholic who cheats on me.
I recently went on two vacations, one in paradise and instead of feeling happy, I realized I felt nothing.
My love just betrayed me again. I've been stopping myself from walking down the street and buying one, but I think today is the day. I told him and he got mad. I don't plan on ending it today, but just having it and knowing that I could be free soon is enough for me.
Sometimes I want to be saved, but this decade has been one thing after another, worse and worse and I'm not cut out for this world. At this point everyone who knows me, knows I want to kill myself. They get mad and judge me, but no one really cares and they are sick of me being a burden.
Now, I've just turned 30. I lost my career, my exes, all my friends, my self respect and ability to communicate. I live in the ghetto, my family doesn't care about me and to top it all off, the only person I've ever loved is an abusive alcoholic who cheats on me.
I recently went on two vacations, one in paradise and instead of feeling happy, I realized I felt nothing.
My love just betrayed me again. I've been stopping myself from walking down the street and buying one, but I think today is the day. I told him and he got mad. I don't plan on ending it today, but just having it and knowing that I could be free soon is enough for me.
Sometimes I want to be saved, but this decade has been one thing after another, worse and worse and I'm not cut out for this world. At this point everyone who knows me, knows I want to kill myself. They get mad and judge me, but no one really cares and they are sick of me being a burden.
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