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J

johntee2

Member
Jan 17, 2021
59
I realise that I am wasting everyone's time with this but I am absolutely desperate. I am desperate to CTB soon. I have a freakish heart complaint that will kill me soon but I don't want to wait for the crushing, suffocating death that will bring. In a worst case scenario, it will merely leave me disabled and unable to have any say in my own destiny. I carry this excruciating fear with me every minute of every day but especially early in the morning.
I have tried to contact A to get some N but he doesn't reply to the email address I have. Can anyone help with that? I don't know if supplying to Europe and specifically ireland is a non-starter. It seems to be?
I have a cylinder of N2 but I have no way of getting a regulator, adapter and hose past my wife especially during lockdown where I'm watched 24/7. I need elastic too for the exit bag.
I favour a drug induced way out but am not keen on SN. Any hints on how to contact street drug dealers would be really appreciated.. I have canvassed people I know on getting some cannabis in the hope that they'd give me the number of a dealer. One person I asked was able to get me some cannabis but are going to hand over directly. Another failed plan. I need H or preferably F. I wonder if ingestion of H could be lethal. I believe fatal doses of opioids can be unpredictable. Ideally, I'd want 10 times the average lethal dose.
sh#t! I'm stuck here for a while, aren't I?
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,845
Horrible situation, my condolences. Ctb is more difficult than some realize, it's not something you can pull out of your ass when you're in a limited state.
 
Sslsh

Sslsh

Experienced
Jan 29, 2020
293
I realise that I am wasting everyone's time with this but I am absolutely desperate. I am desperate to CTB soon. I have a freakish heart complaint that will kill me soon but I don't want to wait for the crushing, suffocating death that will bring. In a worst case scenario, it will merely leave me disabled and unable to have any say in my own destiny. I carry this excruciating fear with me every minute of every day but especially early in the morning.
I have tried to contact A to get some N but he doesn't reply to the email address I have. Can anyone help with that? I don't know if supplying to Europe and specifically ireland is a non-starter. It seems to be?
I have a cylinder of N2 but I have no way of getting a regulator, adapter and hose past my wife especially during lockdown where I'm watched 24/7. I need elastic too for the exit bag.
I favour a drug induced way out but am not keen on SN. Any hints on how to contact street drug dealers would be really appreciated.. I have canvassed people I know on getting some cannabis in the hope that they'd give me the number of a dealer. One person I asked was able to get me some cannabis but are going to hand over directly. Another failed plan. I need H or preferably F. I wonder if ingestion of H could be lethal. I believe fatal doses of opioids can be unpredictable. Ideally, I'd want 10 times the average lethal dose.
sh#t! I'm stuck here for a while, aren't I?
Getting F would be the best thing. Its not available where I live so have to stick with SN
 
J

johntee2

Member
Jan 17, 2021
59
Horrible situation, my condolences. Ctb is more difficult than some realize, it's not something you can pull out of your ass when you're in a limited state.
Have you any suggestions. I have experience with gases so would be able to do N2 effortlessly. It looks as if lockdown will continue until summer here in Ireland though. The government opened up everything in the weeks leading up to Christmas so the virus is rife, especially where I live. I might get 1/2 hour on my own some time. Suspension hanging is plan Z but so be it.
 
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,845
Have you any suggestions. I have experience with gases so would be able to do N2 effortlessly. It looks as if lockdown will continue until summer here in Ireland though. The government opened up everything in the weeks leading up to Christmas so the virus is rife, especially where I live. I might get 1/2 hour on my own some time. Suspension hanging is plan Z but so be it.
Can't really help you since I'm pretty sure that's still illegal. Does your wife know you're suicidal, do you have kids?
 
J

johntee2

Member
Jan 17, 2021
59
Can't really help you since I'm pretty sure that's still illegal. Does your wife know you're suicidal, do you have kids?
My wife knows I'm suicidal. I lost my health 10 months ago. I have no quality of life. She caught me buying helium for balloons - of all things. She doesn't understand as she is relatively healthy. I,have no kids. I'm 59yrs old. I need to go before I'm disabled.
 
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  • Love
Reactions: Bigpink and BeansOfRequirement
BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Man-child, loser, autistic, etc.
Jan 26, 2021
5,845
I,have no kids.
Then I truly wish for you to live free from suffering. I'm not comfortable discussing suicide in a one-on-one format so I only discuss methods in general terms or when referring to myself.
 
Jumper Geo

Jumper Geo

Life's a bitch and then you die.
Feb 23, 2020
2,910
I realise that I am wasting everyone's time with this but I am absolutely desperate. I am desperate to CTB soon. I have a freakish heart complaint that will kill me soon but I don't want to wait for the crushing, suffocating death that will bring. In a worst case scenario, it will merely leave me disabled and unable to have any say in my own destiny. I carry this excruciating fear with me every minute of every day but especially early in the morning.
I have tried to contact A to get some N but he doesn't reply to the email address I have. Can anyone help with that? I don't know if supplying to Europe and specifically ireland is a non-starter. It seems to be?
I have a cylinder of N2 but I have no way of getting a regulator, adapter and hose past my wife especially during lockdown where I'm watched 24/7. I need elastic too for the exit bag.
I favour a drug induced way out but am not keen on SN. Any hints on how to contact street drug dealers would be really appreciated.. I have canvassed people I know on getting some cannabis in the hope that they'd give me the number of a dealer. One person I asked was able to get me some cannabis but are going to hand over directly. Another failed plan. I need H or preferably F. I wonder if ingestion of H could be lethal. I believe fatal doses of opioids can be unpredictable. Ideally, I'd want 10 times the average lethal dose.
sh#t! I'm stuck here for a while, aren't I?

Hiya,

There are a few reasons A doesn't reply, make sure you setup a secure e-mail account as he won't reply to non encrypted secure e-mail accounts.


Cheers

Geo
 
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