Birthday

[ifiweretopickascene]

Everyone but my mom remembered my birthday today. She was first to remind me of my sister's. I overate and can't throw up. I feel very depressed and fat and been trying to lose this last bit of weight for since October but too pathetic. Going to cancel my celebration and hide. Going to work on cutting whore deeper in my arm. I think I might overdose but I don't want to be obviously fat in case anyone looks at me after I'm dead. I don't know. I just want to throw up but I can't.
I put it in the wrong forum I'm sorry I'm not thinking straight.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. It sounds like you are going through a lot. Birthdays are always very depressing for me. This life can be so awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Al Cappella]

I know it won't make up for anything—but happy birthday!

 

[ifiweretopickascene]

I know it won't make up for anything—but happy birthday!

Thank you that was really sweet

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

I'm sorry. Birthdays can be very triggering baseline. Even when I'm less depressed than I've been this year, my birthday can send me into a tailspin because I feel like no one ever remembers/cares. Last year my girlfriend threw me a party (my first in years) but now we no longer speak. I no longer speak to most of the people involved in that party actually because of BS social politics. My birthday, coming up soon, will be very lonely this year, so trying not to think about it. I may end up cutting myself deeply that day too, so I relate to that part of your current struggle.

At least others remembered your birthday! In the inverse scenario, I suspect only my mom will remember my birthday this year…