Discussion Between life and death

[ölmezdim]

Hello. I'm a 25-year-old man. I've been very unhappy in life since I was about 12 years old. I grew up feeling insecure and unloved. Over time, life brought many things that left me desperate. I am currently suffering from painful illness, and there seems to be no cure.
Three years ago I started to recover myself, to try one last time before committing suicide. But I see, I realize that there's really nothing left I can do in life anymore. No matter what I do, I'll be lonely and unhappy; my life won't get better.
Death had begun to seem peaceful and the only way out. However, because I've always been a resilient, I somehow can't CTB. I'm stuck, I don't know what to do. I'm sure everything will be unhappy and bad. It's like a pointless battle.

I felt the need to share these feelings. What do you think about this situation?

 

[hurb]

the way I see it, ctb is actually an act of strength, a way to say to life fuck you I dont wanna interact with u anymore.
and I guess even a resilient warrior knows when to back off and not to fight in a lost war.

 

[ölmezdim]

the way I see it, ctb is actually an act of strength, a way to say to life fuck you I dont wanna interact with u anymore.
and I guess even a resilient warrior knows when to back off and not to fight in a lost war.

Bravo. I wish I could have such a perspective.