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Oblivion Access

Oblivion Access

I don't know anything
Jul 5, 2019
333
"Just" mental pain. Whatever I do, whoever I talk to, whatever I take, it just doesn't matter. It just doesn't go away. The more I struggle the worse it feels.
Why does it hurt SO MUCH? Just being here, just being me. Nothing is happening, nobody is harassing me. But it's unbearable.

None of this looks real. My hands, my feet, they don't look like they belong to me. This plant looks fake as fuck. The colourful laundry is taunting me, mocking me. It's already so awful, but it can get so much worse still. I feel feral, but I guess feral beings at least have a liveliness to them. I just feel empty.

Spinning around with my back glued to the hamster wheel, while flopping around helplessly and gasping for air like a fish out of water. Suicide hardly crosses my mind, I don't even have the determination. Why should I get to stop my life sentence at others' expense, anyway? It's bullshit, of course. It all is. I think the wheel is about to get spun again.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,602
It sounds so awful what you have to endure. This life really is so horrifying. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. I wish you relief from pain.
 
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,648
we have nothing not even ourselves soon to dissolve into eternal nothingness

what it means to be free, can go anywhere at any moment, no more needing heat or shelter or breath(air), no more needing to eat sleep drink pee and poop, no more needing to work to just to survive, no more jails, no more poverty to live in abundance, no more death or growing old, no more living in the dark cold wet environment, no need for money, a loving caring environment, infinite computational power, robots and ai will take away most of these restrictions, no more sickness or diseases, something that's truly amazing and beautiful LIFE HOW IT SHOULD BE.
 
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ForeverBlue

Member
Jun 7, 2022
61
Mental pain as you put it is worse than physical pain in my experience so I know where your coming from. I was out in the sun today but everything just seems dark, the world seems somewhat sinister it's hard to explain.
 
whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,911
we have nothing not even ourselves soon to dissolve into eternal nothingness

what it means to be free, can go anywhere at any moment, no more needing heat or shelter or breath(air), no more needing to eat sleep drink pee and poop, no more needing to work to just to survive, no more jails, no more poverty to live in abundance, no more death or growing old, no more living in the dark cold wet environment, no need for money, a loving caring environment, infinite computational power, robots and ai will take away most of these restrictions, no more sickness or diseases, something that's truly amazing and beautiful LIFE HOW IT SHOULD BE.
Jokes on you, machines and automation will be used to make our lives even worse. The Matrix really tried to tell you something. 😜
 
Darkover

Darkover

Archangel
Jul 29, 2021
5,648
Jokes on you, machines and automation will be used to make our lives even worse. The Matrix really tried to tell you something. 😜
the matrix one is my favorite movie of all time, we have a god given right to something better to give these people freedom, i follow any man to freedom
What was the last thing you coded?
a realm of the mad god engine wirten in euphoria programming language but i know c/c++, java,, game maker language, euphoria
View attachment 2021-11-29 20-53-50.mp4
 
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