Being outdone by people younger than you

[Gratefulcorpse]

I just found out that my psychiatrist wants to take me off my Zopiclone and Midazolam and I feel like I'm losing myself again. I got used to living on medication that the thought of having to stop them is making me more depressed. What's even worse is realizing how much of a failure I am. I just read about Siya Kakkar, who died at 16 years old,and I'm so ashamed to think that I'm here, 19 years, thinking about when I'm really going to CTB when people younger than me have thought about it and acted upon it already. I wish I never failed my first suicide attempt. Anyone else feeling like they are being outshone by their younger contemporaries in terms of suicide?

 

[unprecocious]

It isn't a competition, there's no prestige in suicide my friend.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I'm more ashamed of being outdone by others in life. The chasm between who I am and who I wanted to be is so vast it will never be crossed. I see and hear about those my age or younger achieving great things and it hurts. I don't want this humiliation any longer.

 

[SoIntoYou]

I just found out that my psychiatrist wants to take me off my Zopiclone and Midazolam and I feel like I'm losing myself again. I got used to living on medication that the thought of having to stop them is making me more depressed. What's even worse is realizing how much of a failure I am. I just read about Siya Kakkar, who died at 16 years old,and I'm so ashamed to think that I'm here, 19 years, thinking about when I'm really going to CTB when people younger than me have thought about it and acted upon it already. I wish I never failed my first suicide attempt. Anyone else feeling like they are being outshone by their younger contemporaries in terms of suicide?

CTB isn't a competition. Have you ever thought that age is just a number and that they had a shittier life and were more motivated? or had better access to easier, more pain free methods? There's a lot of factors that go into these things.