Venting Being a worthless POS

[Painless_end]

I am a useless POS, I wish I could die already.

I am lazy and responsibility avoidant.

I have hated growing up ever since I had to grow up.

I have disliked every single thing about adulthood. Having to make my own choices and take responsibility for them has become incredibly difficult.

I have never been good at being responsible.

I have no sustained interested in any field of knowledge to want to make a career out of it.

My existence is reduced to having to depend on my parents to provide me food and housing.

I have literally nothing left to live for. No desires, no hopes, no dreams, no ambitions.

I wish I could die. I am not at all emotional about death. I just view my situation as objectively as I can and keep wishing for death every waking second.

 

[bing]

I'm excited to die. Just living out the last moments until I feel like doing it

 

[Superdeterminist]

I'm very much the same. Although I wouldn't call myself a POS because I hate insulting myself. I don't like being this way but I certainly didn't choose to be like this. I badly wish I were productive and motivated but I'm simply not and don't know how to be. It's an immense privilege to possess those traits because you get tend to rewarded for them a lot. If you could just decide to become that way, then everyone on earth would be like that because everyone knows how beneficial it is. But it is NOT something you can just decide.

 

[Painless_end]

I'm very much the same. Although I wouldn't call myself a POS because I hate insulting myself. I don't like being this way but I certainly didn't choose to be like this. I badly wish I were productive and motivated but I'm simply not and don't know how to be. It's an immense privilege to possess those traits because you get tend to rewarded for them a lot. If you could just decide to become that way, then everyone on earth would be like that because everyone knows how beneficial it is. But it is NOT something you can just decide.

You are absolutely right about that.

The problem is rooted in my lack of positive orientation towards doing anything productive beyond a certain point.

I also wish I could be different. But because I don't have a subconscious "push" towards being productive or delivering value in any field, I tend to isolate myself on the sidelines.

And since it is not something I can turn on and off like a button switch, I tend to have an incredibly low quality of life.

Hence, all the suicidal thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that it can be very awful living such an depressing existence. There is nothing here for me in this world as well. I personally do not see death as being sad at all, it is all I look forward to. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find relief from suffering.