angelalexandra
girl with a caustic halo
- Apr 26, 2025
- 12
i feel like such a hypocrite every time i think about killing myself ive got a few friends who are suicidal too and whenever they've made attempts i claw and beg and pray that theyll be alive in the morning but im somehow able to totally disregard the pain im causing those same friends when i make an attempt and they find out about it (i even tried fully cutting myself off beforehand and they all somehow found ways to get in contact with me within hours) i wish i could just be selfish and stop feeling so guilty or come up with some bullshit way to rationalize how my suicide would be ok but any of theirs would be tragic. honestly the best i could wish for is to either die in an accident (or somehow make ctbing look like an accident) or to be totally forgotten beforehand. ive tricked people into caring about a decaying building of a person thats just going to collapse and it'll be my fault when they get crushed in the rubble.
