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OutOfThisBody

OutOfThisBody

What kind of cruel god would put me in this body?
Aug 5, 2024
175
Last summer before school started I was dead set on killing myself, I just didnt have the supplies. Now school has started and I am just waiting on my last supplies to arrive, and I am scared to go. I don't know why. Maybe school is making me anxious about it?

Part of it is I'm scared to enter a different state of consciousness after a bad experience with edibles and anxiety. Im scared if I die I could wake up in some terrifying existance like the state of mind I entered during my bad trip. It's irrational for sure but I lowkey had a panic attack or something during that episode.

For one class however I havent started the assignment and its six weeks in, I have no ideas and I can't catch up, so killing myself will fix that problem.
 
sancta-simplicitas

sancta-simplicitas

Mage
Dec 14, 2023
582
Perhaps it could be related to that it feels more real now when you've almost fixed every preparation for it?
 
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