Back again....

[avoid_slow_death]

After about a year of trying to build my life back up, I have come to the realization that itcannot be fixed. I tried my best and I definitely made mistakes along the way, but ultimately, I felt that I had layed down enough of a foundation to feel secure and move forward with living, but, alas, the flood came and swept everything away including myself.

Now I am back in the same place I was few years ago. Lonely, lost, abandoned and without hope. My one life's goal that I cherished above all else has been closed off to me, so, I no longer have any reason to keep going.

Its sad because for the past few years things were tough, but there was always that hope. That little peace of mind that kept me going no matter how bad things got, but, I lost that and within any reason to bother trying at all...

 

[Odwin]

Hope for you can find a new way to leave this place. In a recovery way of thinking.
What a bad wording of me

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Hope for you can find a new way to leave this place. In a recovery way of thinking.
What a bad wording of me

No worries. I understood what you meant. And thank you.

 

[Moose.000]

Suicidal thoughts are like herpes. Once infected it's the gift that keeps on giving.

 

[Celerity]

After about a year of trying to build my life back up, I have come to the realization that itcannot be fixed. I tried my best and I definitely made mistakes along the way, but ultimately, I felt that I had layed down enough of a foundation to feel secure and move forward with living, but, alas, the flood came and swept everything away including myself.

Now I am back in the same place I was few years ago. Lonely, lost, abandoned and without hope. My one life's goal that I cherished above all else has been closed off to me, so, I no longer have any reason to keep going.

Its sad because for the past few years things were tough, but there was always that hope. That little peace of mind that kept me going no matter how bad things got, but, I lost that and within any reason to bother trying at all...

What was that goal, if you don't mind me asking? If it makes you feel any better, I became almost instantly suicidal when I reached my goals and found out it didn't matter - still depressed.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Yeah, suicidal thoughts have permeated almost my entire life. I agree it is difficult to break the cycle of "happy, dissatisfied, distraught" that seems to come each time until one day it just is the thoughts all the time. As for my goal, pretty sure I have mentioned it elsewhere in the forum.