At my breaking point. People with anhedonia, has anything helped you break through the numbness?

[NumbForLife]

I just broke my no alcohol streak of several years on Friday night (I wasn't an alcoholic, but decided to prioritize my health because of an illness). I was gonna do round 2 on Sunday night yesterday, but the cider I got was really gross and my tolerance was way too high so I had a few cans and called it a night.

Since all medical treatments failed me, I was thinking of buying some drugs later this week to see if they help me break through the numbness. I don't even know where to find a dealer tbh. I'm so tired of this man. I just want to feel something. It's not my fault all medical treatments failed me.

In case I'm not gonna be alive much longer I think I may want to dye my hair for the first time ever too, so that it'll be 2 colours instead of 1. I really like my natural hair, but I kinda want to try something new by adding a second colour to it.

 

[VirtualWorldIsBette]

I'm sorry to hear that. I was abusing ketamine and alcohol daily and sometimes in the morning too, but that barely helped. I've been sober for about 3 weeks now and I would like to say that "it gets better" but nope. Life is still just as hard. Anhedonia still fucks me over. I waste my days away in bed home alone or flickering through the games I play with no one else. I seriously can't keep doing this shit

PS What colour are you thinking of your hair?

 

[NumbForLife]

I'm sorry to hear that. I was abusing ketamine and alcohol daily and sometimes in the morning too, but that barely helped. I've been sober for about 3 weeks now and I would like to say that "it gets better" but nope. Life is still just as hard. Anhedonia still fucks me over. I waste my days away in bed home alone or flickering through the games I play with no one else. I seriously can't keep doing this shit

PS What colour are you thinking of your hair?

Awh I feel for you. It's a brutal existence. I can't keep living this way either. After this long without alcohol I can't even get myself to drink it anymore, I tried several different drinks and found most of them to be gross. I was thinking of trying ketamine IVs under a doctor's supervision, but maybe I can buy some ketamine pills instead and pop them.

I'm a brunette with dark brown hair, so I'm thinking of either adding in light brown or blonde. I know light brown should look good and I feel like blonde is the risky one, but I kind of want to go for the risky one. I wanna go bold.

 

[VirtualWorldIsBette]

Awh I feel for you. It's a brutal existence. I can't keep living this way either. After this long without alcohol I can't even get myself to drink it anymore, I tried several different drinks and found most of them to be gross. I was thinking of trying ketamine IVs under a doctor's supervision, but maybe I can buy some ketamine pills instead and pop them.

I'm a brunette with dark brown hair, so I'm thinking of either adding in light brown or blonde. I know light brown should look good and I feel like blonde is the risky one, but I kind of want to go for the risky one. I wanna go bold.

I was actually in a treatment-resistant depression trial testing ketamine + therapy vs ketamine. That's where I got the idea to "self-medicate" with it lol and bought it off the dark web. I don't know, the trial definitely helped, but when I was abusing I found out that I still was in, and still is, in a lot of pain. I don't know about you, but ketamine therapy is only available here is private-only and very expensive, I wonder how it is where you are lol.

A little bit of blonde sounds good!

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

Only thing that worked for me somewhat are social contacts (and sex would help too, but I don't get any). But the only place I had any social contacts recently was a mental health clinic and that was only for 7 weeks and now I'm worse than before. I guess it was like giving me a drug and then put me on withdrawal again.