Are you really really going for it?

[hopelessyearning]

I think someone who is ACTUALLY going to CTB would overcome whatever it is and DO IT. So. Do you really think you are ACTUALLY getting near your day OR does it feels more like it takes too much to do it and will keep making up fair reasons on why you won't

For me it's a matter of time I have everything I need ready I feel I'm moving closer to the end.

Wish you well :)

 

[lifegoeson]

It's tricky to answer . I think a lot of people here feel like they are at their wits end but survival instinct is incredibly hard to overcome. Remember we are wired to survive. I've been depressed for a while but managed it quite well, I only got suicidal this year though after a health condition diagnosis - I feel ready to ctb but I feel guilty about leaving my mum and dad behind

 

[fent_dnm27]

I think someone who is ACTUALLY going to CTB would overcome whatever it is and DO IT.

I agree. But I also understand that fear and anxiety prevent a lot of people (and probably most SS users) from following through.

Living isn't particularly easy, for most people, either. I think like all difficult tasks, it helps to take small steps, train yourself to be disciplined, and in the case of CTB, free yourself as much as you can of meaningless attachments.

I once had a grand plan, which involved a bucket list, a complicated but reliable method, a will, and a couple dozen personally-addressed goodbye letters. Plotting out the setting, pointless aesthetic preferences....Schemes and attachments, that I realized were keeping me from following through. I thought that somehow my death would matter, or that I could make it matter.

In reality, life is quite disposable, and death comes and goes at a moment's notice. I've let go of those worldly attachments and it's made my acceptance of death much easier. Once i'm dead, none of those things will matter, anyways.

It still won't be easy, but when you live like you've already died, it's probably a shorter hop to realize it fully.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

My method is a little risky and I'm not under enough external pressure to make me ctb yet. The pull factors are there, though, they are definitely there and have been for half a decade.

 

[JipJopMop]

I'd like to but finding a good method seems so tricky in the U.K. and I am not drawn to painful methods or self harm, I am trying to avoid pain and suffering, not cause more

I'd like to shoot myself or take SN or something