Are you concerned with what other people might feel? Or what you might miss out on?

[Phobia_DLW]

I am fortunate enough to have a handful of people around me that care about me and would be devasted if I CTB, I really don't want to inflict emotional distress or trauma/regret upon them and I cant internally justify hurting them. The thought of them feeling regret over something that I never even talked to them about (Ideation) really gets to me.

On the other hand, I also have this hope (false or not) that I would be able to enjoy life again and if I CTB, I will never get to do that.

At the same time, as I'm sure you are all familiar, it just simply hurts to keep living.

I guess what I am trying to ask is has anyone managed to come to peace with leaving their loved ones traumatized and not allowing hope to overpower your ideation?

 

[Bishop]

No. I don't live for another. Just as I would never ask another to live for me. That would be selfish. One must live their own life. Make their own decisions. Be it to ctb or live.

 

[Kanau_Nano]

I will never be able to come to peace with what i will do to others by ctb. I feel horrible. What if I caused someone to ctb? My dad already said he would if I did.

I'm glad you still have hope

 

[1nocares]

I wanted to give myself a chance to actually enjoy being here, but I don't think anyone will hold me back from that choice. I know I'm going to go through with it one way or another. So this may be a silly reason, but I honestly just want to play TESVI

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

I am very much sad on everything i will miss out but i ruined it on my own already and seeing life following it's course while i'm rotting in bed is feeding my insanity.

I try not to think about how people might feel when i go but i cut contact with everyone already anyway. I have a hard time acting and enjoying life when i obsess about ending it.

Waiting for my ticket to ctb and be done with all the regrets and the "what if's?".

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I'd only be glad to never suffer in this dreadful, torturous existence ever again and I'll always find it torture to exist, to me existence is a mistake that only ever causes all this cruelty and suffering with no limit as to how much agony one can feel. I just find it so terrible and dreadful how this existence was imposed at all, all I want is to be permanently unconscious, the peace of non-existence solves everything for me, I'd be so relieved to no longer be burdened with this terrible, torturous existence, for me non-existence is just all that's positive.

 

[LastDayOnEarth]

Not really

 

[hurts2b]

Struggle with this a bit too. But I only have one person in the world who'd care so it's a little different. Sometimes I feel shit at the thought of making this person my collateral. They'd be grieving alone too, since no one else in the world knows me.

On the other hand, a single decent relationship isn't actually a solution to any of the problems that make me want to die.

 

[interna]

yes, but i wish i didn't

 

[Untoten_]

I never got to be the mr Olympia sized meat head I wanted to be.

That's it.

 

[Spit On My Grave]

Society is a fabric, together we are united, strength becomes much greater if we gather together