Wanting friends is like wanting to catch air in your hand, relationships are always fleeting and slip away eventually. Once the euphoria wears off, people get bored of you. The idea of everlasting love or friendship is a comforting myth that only gives people unrealistic expectations and more suffering, had to learn that one the hard way.
I ruined all my friendships, and they were all irl anyway, never could uphold a single one online. It's not even finding friends that is the hardest part, it's keeping them. At this point I'm convinced I'm incapable of putting in the effort to keep friendships going. I just want others to show enthusiasm and drag me along, and no-one wants a "friend" like that.
This was my problem too, but I was also the one to reach out and never get reciprocated. Things would be going smoothly until something goes wrong, either a small mistake, or having a simple boundary, and suddenly nobody wants anything to do with you and you get ghosted while months or even years go down the drain in a second.
I can't take it anymore I'm so fucking lonely I need to talk with people but they all don't reciprocate my efforts or the conversations die
I can't even kill myself to end this agony.
We need a discord group for us lonely fuckers.
I think I found one of your previous posts from yesterday, I also lost a friend around July. For me it was because I asked her out. I was fine staying friends, but instead of just telling me she didn't want to be friends she just fawned / continued to act nice yet also ghosted me and stopped reaching out. Felt like shit to suddenly be treated like a predator despite us being friends earlier.
Like the above posters, I've become so tired of dealing with people that the desire for connection is slowly going away. I also hope I can just live alone with a cat and not have to feel so miserable about it because relationships are never worth the inevitable suffering.
