Venting are we serious right now

[secretariat]

theres been a death in the family out of nowhere. i wasnt super close to this person but everyone else is devastated and grieving.

i was going to ctb in a month but itd be so messed up for me to do it now.

im so selfish for thinking about myself at a time like this but this is so cruel

what do i even do at this point? everyday is so painful

 

[Fabi_2312]

I personally would take this as a opportunity to open up to someone, you may think it'll look selfish, but I think your family would rather choose you opening up than losing another loved one.
Only choose to ctb if you're 100% sure about it.
I hope you find your freedom soon, no matter which way you choose. <3

 

[secretariat]

I personally would take this as a opportunity to open up to someone, you may think it'll look selfish, but I think your family would rather choose you opening up than losing another loved one.
Only choose to ctb if you're 100% sure about it.
I hope you find your freedom soon, no matter which way you choose. <3

thank you for the thoughtful response, i appreciate it and i totally agree with you.

i always encourage people to be 100% sure of their decision. ive spent the last few months reflecting and im sure this is what i need/want.

ive been on medication + therapy and as a result, have been able to manage my mental health a lot better. ultimately, my decision is a result of physical conditions thats been causing me intense distress.

i know what im going to do will cause pain regardless but if i ctb right now, ill actually be the worst person ever (and be shunned if i survive somehow). just really stuck but planning on giving it a few months for now.

and maybe in a few months, ill miraculously change my mind? lol

thank you for listening to my little vent. i wish the best for you as well<3