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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,434
For me, the only thing I want is to not exist as existence is suffering. When I am dead I will be free from everything and it will be the end of me. Nothing would ever make me want to live. However I do feel trapped as suicide is so difficult, I lack the option of a peaceful, reliable exit and there is the fear of failure. More than anything I wish it was easier to leave. This life is not for me.
 
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downndone

Member
Dec 19, 2021
19
Outwardly I would appear to have lots of choices. But pretty much everything I do causes my life to be worse so I feel very paralyzed. Plus I have crippling social anxiety and the isolation that causes leads naturally to depression. I don't know how much of this is just me rationalizing my own inaction, laziness and cowardice though.
I really relate to this. Part of it with me is that there are people that will be hurt by my exit. That, and cowardice, are the reasons I'm still here.
 
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redwaymilk

Member
Nov 28, 2021
32
I really relate to this. Part of it with me is that there are people that will be hurt by my exit. That, and cowardice, are the reasons I'm still here.
This is huge for me. When I CTB, the aftermath of my binge drinking will ripple out across the country. I will be a cautionary tale. Everything good I have done will be erased by my failures. It will affect a lot of mentors in important institutions, my own home institution, likely be talked about across the industry.
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Yes trapped with no way out and with nothing to do
 
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mkhan1985

Member
May 26, 2022
12
Trapped and no way out as my girlfriend is pregnant and I have a 4 year old daughter i love so much and who relies on me. Had what must have been near to a perfect life 7 months ago, before suddenly all crashed in a couple of days, two weeks after we knew we're pregnant with our second child.
 
Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Nothing compares to the bliss of death.
Aug 8, 2018
879
I feel like I'm trapped in life, rather than forced to die. I feel like a slave unable to escape.