Anyone else ruin their life for no reason?

[Leichter Kampfwagen]

I had everything going for me, knew it, and still wanted to kill myself for some reason. Maybe it was just laziness or lack of discipline I don't know, but I essentially stopped doing everything because I thought I would be dead very shortly. Turns out I'm a coward and now I'm still alive and can't ctb, but now I have a ruined life instead of a very promising one.

 

[nettspend]

Oh yeah. I just build it all up to tear it down. Over and over again. I've lost so many opportunities and relationships. I'm in my early twenties but feel like I've gone through three lives. Each one has led me back to rotting in my bed. I could become ruler of the world just to fuck it up and end up moving in with family again.

I just can't see myself living a happy, normal life. So everytime I start moving in that direction I get scared and torch everything, I guess.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Oh yeah. I just build it all up to tear it down. Over and over again. I've lost so many opportunities and relationships. I'm in my early twenties but feel like I've gone through three lives. Each one has led me back to rotting in my bed. I could become ruler of the world just to fuck it up and end up moving in with family again.

I just can't see myself living a happy, normal life. So everytime I start moving in that direction I get scared and torch everything, I guess.

Me. Might go down the same path you to the exact point

 

[Secro]

It's similar for me, except I'm incompetent at suicide and too lazy to attempt it regularly...

 

[larpex]

Oh yeah. I just build it all up to tear it down. Over and over again. I've lost so many opportunities and relationships. I'm in my early twenties but feel like I've gone through three lives. Each one has led me back to rotting in my bed. I could become ruler of the world just to fuck it up and end up moving in with family again.

I just can't see myself living a happy, normal life. So everytime I start moving in that direction I get scared and torch everything, I guess.

Same, love your name btw lol

 

[hdead]

Same. It's gotten to that point where I'm actually quite certain I'll ctb. Felt like I've had chances on five different timelines and I ran from all of it.

My only goal right now is stacking up on as many meds as I can get my hands on and rigorously investigating plant poisons.