Anyone else on the edge?

[I screwed up too bad]

Hi, First post here. I've been lurking for a little while now. Since March, my life has become an unbearable mess due to stupid decisions I've made. And I had it all before this! I don't see myself ever recovering from these mistakes, but part of me still hopes I will.
I'm on the edge between trying to hold on so in case things do get better or just ending it all because I don't believe it will. Anyone else feel like this?
Also, I had no idea it was

 

[Anonymoussn]

Yep. Been Having medical issues for almost two years, which I've now been waiting several months to see a specialist about. I dont think I will be able to get the help I need, and its grinding me down more and more emotionally, but I want to try and go on at least until I know the outcome of seeing a specialist. I feel your pain!

 

[BPD Barbie]

Welcome to the forum Sorry to hear that life has brought you here. I think many of us here live on the edge between life and death, I certainly know I do. One minute I want to live and put all my effort into it, the next I want to die and end it the suffering. It's hard being stuck in limbo.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I empathize with this very strongly. It causes me to constantly waver between wanting to ctb and wanting to give myself another chance.

 

[fat feet]

Bingo.

 

[Zyntkalla]

With me I screwed up pretty bad, and I feel like I didn't deserve a second chance in anything even anther life if there is any such thing as lifes?

 

[fat feet]

With me I screwed up pretty bad, and I feel like I didn't deserve a second chance in anything even anther life if there is any such thing as lifes?

There is not much in life that can't be forgiven in time.

 

[Zyntkalla]

There is not much in life that can't be forgiven in time.

I wish I could believe that.But it's so bad that it got to the point where hate myself for it and always will even more the the people I don't like in my life.

 

[fat feet]

I wish I could believe that.But it's so bad that it got to the point where hate myself for it and always will even more the the people I don't like in my life.

I am sorry to hear that for you. I wish I could help you move past that.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I am sorry to hear that for you. I wish I could help you move past that.

I wish I could to but I feels like I don't deserve the help and I always felt that way my hole life but I am willing to help others out if thay need it. But myself am dead on the inside now.

 

[fat feet]

I wish I could to but I feels like I don't deserve the help and I always felt that way my hole life but I am willing to help others out if thay need it. But my self I am dead on the inside now

. I would say we all deserve help. I would never seek it out. I was brought up to figure it out myself. The if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. I am waiting to see what happens with that.