Anyone else feel like they have to justify or make a case for their suicide?

[Close_to_freedom]

I don't know where this feeling comes from. I hate it.

 

[Cioran]

My friend, it may mean that you are unsure about going through with it. It may mean that you feel guilty towards loved ones. Or it's that you feel society berates and mocks you. There may be things you wish you had done, things you wish you could do, or things you feel you should do. Your doubts may exist for many other reasons. I don't know. Only you really know.

 

[glittergore]

Definitely. I don't feel a need to justify it to others, but to myself. I think it's the inability to reverse the decision combined with the profound consequences; even if you think your life is worthless or full of suffering, it is the basis of everything, it's all you have. It's a lot to let go of and that's frightening. This is especially true if there is something, even if it's minuscule, that you like about yourself or being alive.

This could also come from the belief that's commonly embedded in people's heads about life having a lot of meaning and therefore something you should not consider abandoning lightly.

 

[Close_to_freedom]

My friend, it may mean that you are unsure about going through with it. It may mean that you feel guilty towards loved ones. Or it's that you feel society berates and mocks you. There may be things you wish you had done, things you wish you could do, or things you feel you should do. Your doubts may exist for many other reasons. I don't know. Only you really know.

What I know is I absolutely don't want to write a letter and I hate feeling as if my parents subtly control me even though they don't. I don't even live near them but my mom checks in a lot. I hate that being abused as a child by my birth mother destroyed every aspect of my life. I hate being disabled and having to be on disability. All I ever wanted was to be able to support myself free of the influence of others.