Anyone else can’t CTB at the moment?

[Tyra]

I have a vacation in November with my family. I feel like I have to go.

We're also renovating the new house we got. It just feels so wrong to do it now. Plus so many workers keep coming to the house, it seems like a bad time to order packages to the house. (SN, meto, benzo and maybe beta blocker). So I need to get 3 or 4 sketchy packages still…

More than ever I feel so trapped.

 

[wannabeangel]

i cant either, if i had nobody it would be so easy, but i feel too much guilt rn hurting my loved ones

 

[Tyra]

i cant either, if i had nobody it would be so easy, but i feel too much guilt rn hurting my loved ones

I kind of stopped caring about that. But I don't want to be cruel which is why I need to wait for the perfect time.

 

[wannabeangel]

I kind of stopped caring about that. But I don't want to be cruel which is why I need to wait for the perfect time.

i will eventually get to the point of not caring about that, my heart is just too big sometimes. i dont wanna be cruel either so im waiting for the perfect time as well, i wanna get my SN and everything beforehand tho

 

[Tyra]

i will eventually get to the point of not caring about that, my heart is just too big sometimes. i dont wanna be cruel either so im waiting for the perfect time as well, i wanna get my SN and everything beforehand tho

Yeah I also wanna get it beforehand so I feel like there's 1 less thing to think about or worry about.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling so trapped in this torturous, terrible existence, I always suffer so much as a result of being so cruelly denied the option to peacefully cease existing and never suffer in this existence that I just always saw as the most terrible mistake. It truly is the most horrific prison world where dying painlessly is made illegal by humans who want others to suffer for as long as possible and to never suffer again is all I wish for, for me the peace of non-existence is all I could ever see as positive.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I feel like I can't go while my Dad is still alive. Work commitments may also get in the way. I still feel a stupidly strong work ethic. I have an awful feeling that fear of attempting/ failing an attempt will trap me here too.

 

[Forveleth]

Concert with friends in August, visit with friend in September, wedding in October. Then holidays

I should have killed myself in January.

 

[SadPsych]

It's a terrible feeling wanting to be gone, but knowing you may also ruin the lives of a few people who actually care.