Venting Any one here postponing to ctb because of coronavirus?

[Girobatol]

So my mother is coming to my house in Colombia from NYC running from the coronavirus. I really wanted to ctb but now I feel she needs me. Everytime I am close to ctb something happens and I am getting tired of it. Is like a course. First my aunt died, then this.

 

[faust]

Things like that are natural. Your brain simply don't want to die and will create any excuses why you should live or why should not. If she needs you, then you can obv help. But then you will have to postpone your decision and try to avoid blaming yourself of not doing it. Btw there is no need to hurry at all. Maybe that is one more chance to think if you need that?
Wish you a good luck in whatever your choice is

 

[faraway_beach]

It's not my only reason for postponing, but it is one of them. I just found out that it is in my neighborhood; my local firehouse is being disinfected and many of the firefighters quarantined. They are the people who would likely be called when it's discovered that I've taken poison, so I would not want to pile additional work on them when the staff is already unusually strained. Ideally, I'll be able to wait for a slower time (we'll see).

 

[ghostspace]

I'm more afraid of attempting and being found and taken to a hospital. Hospitals really don't have the beds for that right now and then I'd feel guilty and suicidal.

 

[faraway_beach]

I'm more afraid of attempting and being found and taken to a hospital. Hospitals really don't have the beds for that right now and then I'd feel guilty and suicidal.

I agree with this. A failed SN attempt would occupy a respirator that would better serve someone who wants to live.

 

[ghostspace]

I agree with this. A failed SN attempt would occupy a respirator that would better serve someone who wants to live.

I wish I could just switch bodies with dying people. They wanna live and I don't, it sucks that there's no way of doing that.

 

[AcornUnderground]

I'm really, REALLY sick with a high fever, body aches and terrible cough. I wish I knew if I had the coronavirus. Half tempted to use my undetectable inert gas, have my companion remove all equipment and see if they don't think I died from complications. It's in my lungs pretty bad.

 

[Mizzmini45]

I woke up and have trouble moving my hips- really bad body ache. like I'm almost immobile . Is the corona?

 

[MartyByrde]

I'm more afraid of attempting and being found and taken to a hospital. Hospitals really don't have the beds for that right now and then I'd feel guilty and suicidal.

Sorry for being off topic, but I'm old and my sight knows it. Is there a way of highlighting, or something I can do to make the color of your text more visible? A regular highlight didn't work on my end. Thanks!

 

[Blutsager]

I'm really, REALLY sick with a high fever, body aches and terrible cough. I wish I knew if I had the coronavirus. Half tempted to use my undetectable inert gas, have my companion remove all equipment and see if they don't think I died from complications. It's in my lungs pretty bad.

Acorn, I am sorry to hear this. Know that the Lord is with you, as he is with all of us. If it is your faith to make it through this, so you shall. And if not: this is the forum where more than anywhere else people know, there is no need to fear death. Beyond it, Paradise awaits you, and He will receive you in open arms. No point in giving up yet, you still can win this, but fear not if you can't... only greater things await you.

I love you. Good luck.

 

[ghostspace]

Sorry for being off topic, but I'm old and my sight knows it. Is there a way of highlighting, or something I can do to make the color of your text more visible? A regular highlight didn't work on my end. Thanks!

It says: "I'm more afraid of attempting and being found and taken to a hospital. Hospitals really don't have the beds for that right now and then I'd feel guilty and suicidal."

sorry! I just like being barely visible because I'm a ghost *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

 

[MartyByrde]

It says: "I'm more afraid of attempting and being found and taken to a hospital. Hospitals really don't have the beds for that right now and then I'd feel guilty and suicidal."

sorry! I just like being barely visible because I'm a ghost *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

Thank you for rewriting in black. I like the combo of your sn and the color...my eyes just can't deal.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Me. I'm exposing on streets as much as I can so I catch it. Wish me luck!

 

[Mr.Nobody]

I would like to see how things play out.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

It makes me wonder though if CTB would be easier now, as less services will get involved if you were either found before or during an attempt, they would be either busy else were or too afraid to come close due to risk of this CV.
On the other hand, I think it would be selfish, due to taking their time if they decided to interfere, else were and away from those who needed it/ wanted it,
The UK has been recommend now to start going into self isolation, which is an ass, total ass!

 

[ghostspace]

Thank you for rewriting in black. I like the combo of your sn and the color...my eyes just can't deal.

I'm on dark mode usually (black background, white letters), and I forget there's not as much contrast on light mode!

 

[MartyByrde]

I'm on dark mode usually (black background, white letters), and I forget there's not as much contrast on light mode!

Oh, I didn't know this site had dark mode. That would have made a big difference for me. Thanks again!

 

[the box is empty]

I don't know if and how this will affect postal services so I'm assuming my SN I ordered recently will be delayed.

 

[It'llNeverEnd]

my aunt I guess is doing overtime with the government on coronavirus stuff. she says don't buy fresh produce that you don't have to peel like bananas in case anyone handling it recently was positive. so eat up those pears and unwrapped lettuce if you want to get it

 

[Blacksheep93]

I had a lot of plans actually that got cancelled because of this stupid virus. On the one hand, it gives you more time to think and prepare. But on the other hand, literally nothing is going as planned. I was supposed to do something fun with my friends for the last time, wanted to hook up with my fwb and wanted to travel to another country to ctb (I probably won't be able to do this because borders are closing). I'm pretty upset as this came out of nowhere...

 

[Blutsager]

I had a lot of plans actually that got cancelled because of this stupid virus. On the one hand, it gives you more time to think and prepare. But on the other hand, literally nothing is going as planned. I was supposed to do something fun with my friends for the last time, wanted to hook up with my fwb and wanted to travel to another country to ctb (I probably won't be able to do this because borders are closing). I'm pretty upset as this came out of nowhere...

Blacksheep, I am sorry even in your last moments things may not go as planned. But there is no point being sad about it: you can either take this as an opportunity to re-consider, and hold on to your life. And if not, and you are still gonna go for it, then does it really matter? Paradise awaits you, this minor tastes of happiness you were hoping to have mean nothing compared to that.

 

[Blacksheep93]

Blacksheep, I am sorry even in your last moments things may not go as planned. But there is no point being sad about it: you can either take this as an opportunity to re-consider, and hold on to your life. And if not, and you are still gonna go for it, then does it really matter? Paradise awaits you, this minor tastes of happiness you were hoping to have mean nothing compared to that.

The problem is that I told my closest friend about my plans, since I thought I would've been gone soon... Now he is forcing me to see a psychologist and I'm only doing it to calm him down :(

 

[Blutsager]

The problem is that I told my closest friend about my plans, since I thought I would've been gone soon... Now he is forcing me to see a psychologist and I'm only doing it to calm him down :(

Oh... I am sorry to hear that. Indeed keep seeing a doc for now. Who knows, it may actually make you reconsider. But remember not to talk about your plans ever again. It's not safe to do so.

 

[Fragile]

i was going to do it mid june after seeing a geneticist, but now i think that it will take much longer. booking a hotel may be next to impossible.

oh well, at least i have my method ready.

 

[Blacksheep93]

Oh... I am sorry to hear that. Indeed keep seeing a doc for now. Who knows, it may actually make you reconsider. But remember not to talk about your plans ever again. It's not safe to do so.

I've already seen countless doctors for many years at this point and my mental health just kept getting worse any way, so it most likely won't do anything. *sigh* And the more I think about it, the more I get anxious about my eventual suicide. I just want it to fucking end.

I even already deleted my social media accounts for fucks sake.

 

[mpnf]

Thank you for rewriting in black. I like the combo of your sn and the color...my eyes just can't deal.

If you are using a mobile phone you can download UC browser or Opera that "recently" added a dark mode for helping the eyes. If it's from a computer there is always add-ons that you can use to protect your eyes as well from chrome store.
❤

 

[Cashewmilk]

I don't know if and how this will affect postal services so I'm assuming my SN I ordered recently will be delayed.

That's what I'm thinking. I'm not planning anything as of yet. I kind of want to see how this is going to play out. I have no money for SN or N. I don't think I can get SN in Canada to be honest, or where I am located specifically in western canada. I looked on Amazon and they don't have it. And whenever I go looking online, most websites only ship to the US. Plus I'm not sold on SN yet. I still want N. I just don't have anywhere near the money for it. As of now I'm trying to gain strength, I'm on iron supplements right now, because I got a blood test and my iron levels were horrible, so maybe that could be the cause of my extreme exhaustion. I think and I'm hoping, that in a few weeks time, once the iron kicks in, I'll have normal strength and be able to plan my CTB. First I have to rehome the hedgehog though :( that makes me very sad, I think I should wait like another year at least. Oh I want to die so badly, I just want to get out of here, but I've waited 20 years, what's another year?

 

[MartyByrde]

If you are using a mobile phone you can download UC browser or Opera that "recently" added a dark mode for helping the eyes. If it's from a computer there is always add-ons that you can use to protect your eyes as well from chrome store.
❤

Thank you for the additional info. Dark mode helps so much. 20+ years of light mode has my eyes fried.

 

[Noxy]

You should wait until this is all over, you guys are going into lockdown real soon and you could cause just even more trouble to the emergency systems

 

[AcornUnderground]

My ex husband in US works for the department of defense. He says schools will be shut down through summer, and maybe into fall. I can't imagine but he's usually right.