Help Anxiety about therapy

[AmanSilvers]

When I was a teen I got forced to start therapy on two different occasions, with two different therapists, and I had quite a lot of sessions, but I could never get myself to say anything meaningful. I could choke out some minor details about my day but no matter how much I wanted to I couldn't get any important words out.
I honestly don't know what exactly makes me nervous about the situation. Talking to people in general makes me nervous, but this is worse than that.
Anyway now I am in my 20s and I have made my first appointment with a therapist. I am hoping the fact that I am choosing this will be enough to make me open up, but I am wondering if anyone has any tips for this sort of thing?
I saw a thread with tips on how to do the whole therapy thing so maybe that will help a bit generally, but I'm not sure what to do about the anxiety other than breathe and push through it. Perhaps that will just have to be good enough.

It feels really ridiculous to be mentally ill about the thing that is supposed to help with the mental illness

 

[itsgone2]

It helps if you're comfortable with the person. It may be tough on the first visit. You might not be able to initially but I just decided this is what this person does all day, what does it matter what I say. So I'd just dump out exactly what I was feeling. Except that I have a plan. They may take action on that.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

I can relate to this. Losing my words. Freezing. Not getting the point across. Then being told 'It's ok if you're not ready' when I thought I was/wanted to be. Sadly I never found an answer and am off therapy atm after having a tantrum and quitting of frustration back around xmas time.

One thing I would say is to highlight the above to your therapist in advance of this happening. If you have email contact, mention it that way. If not, then have a note with you so you don't forget. Say that you can lose words/freeze/whatever it looks like for you. Once my therapist realised this she was able to approach the awkward silences a bit differently and not just move on dismissing me or leaving the awkward silence when its not beneficial to me processing anything. We ended up developing a couple of signs/autophrases I'd give her that I was blank. Or overwhelmed. And she'd be able to 'work' with that rather than just moving on.

Good luck with it. Let us know how it goes if you feel it might help

 

[AmanSilvers]

I can relate to this. Losing my words. Freezing. Not getting the point across. Then being told 'It's ok if you're not ready' when I thought I was/wanted to be. Sadly I never found an answer and am off therapy atm after having a tantrum and quitting of frustration back around xmas time.

One thing I would say is to highlight the above to your therapist in advance of this happening. If you have email contact, mention it that way. If not, then have a note with you so you don't forget. Say that you can lose words/freeze/whatever it looks like for you. Once my therapist realised this she was able to approach the awkward silences a bit differently and not just move on dismissing me or leaving the awkward silence when its not beneficial to me processing anything. We ended up developing a couple of signs/autophrases I'd give her that I was blank. Or overwhelmed. And she'd be able to 'work' with that rather than just moving on.

Good luck with it. Let us know how it goes if you feel it might help

Thank you for sharing your experience and especially for that suggestion. I will definitely be telling my therapist before our first meeting. My first therapist would always just let the silence hang until she would just give up and start doing paperwork at her desk which was really devastating to 13 year old me.

My appointment is a few weeks out still since I have a trip coming up, and I figured I'd rather have my first session when I have the following weeks open for more, rather than having a first session and then going away for a while. I'll certainly post about it when it happens. I am expecting that I'll meet with a few different therapists before settling on one.