Another huge disapppointment😰

[Defenestration]

Another huge disappointment. I'm fed up.

Every time I start to enjoy life again, it reminds me how difficult it is... I was chatting with a man who was perfect for me in every way—physically, sexually, morally—and he ended up blocking me and dumping me just over a condom issue.

I have a very hard time with abandonment, being borderline.

I want to die.

 

[badatparties]

Sounds like a reasonable man.

 

[Defenestration]

Il a l'air d'un homme raisonnable.

Him?

 

[badatparties]

Him?

It was a joke.

 

[Bruce]

A girl showing a full (seemingly honest) smile talked to me while we were in the supermarket the other day. She was beautiful. And I did nothing. It would have been pointless. She did not care, she had no idea what she wanted. No one cares, no one knows. They just play games.

You have to be realistic about these things.

 

[metfan647]

A girl showing a full (seemingly honest) smile talked to me while we were in the supermarket the other day. She was beautiful. And I did nothing. It would have been pointless. She did not care, she had no idea what she wanted. No one cares, no one knows. They just play games.

You have to be realistic about these things.

How did that conversation go? What was said?

 

[SCHOPENHAUERBITCH]

It means he wasn't perfect for you. Never fall so deeply in love with any person or thing that you rely on it for happiness. I find I'm much happier when I take a dgaf attitude. It sounds really hard to just not care when you're a anxious or sensitive person like I am and probably you are, but I'm learning that it really is all in my head. It's cliche but you just have to let things go.
If your life has ups and downs, that means external factors are controlling your happiness. If your life is one constistent level, that means your happiness is sourced from inside. That's what feels best.

 

[Bruce]

How did that conversation go? What was said?

There were just a few simple lines. What was said was not important, how she acted was. Intent was rather obvious. But I learned my lesson. I'm not going to trust anyone anymore, ever.

 

[metfan647]

There were just a few simple lines. What was said was not important, how she acted was. Intent was rather obvious. But I learned my lesson. I'm not going to trust anyone anymore, ever.

How did she act? How did you infer intention?

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Well, we can't just think they're perfect for us, they also have to think we're perfect for them, and either party can change their mind about that at any point for any reason.

 

[Defenestration]

Life is very hard....i want to and of this game

 

[overmorrow]

then he wasn't perfect, and that's okay, nobody is

 

[Defenestration]

Il n'était donc pas parfait, et c'est normal, personne ne l'est.

But with bordérline abandon is hard

 

[Defenestration]

I put on my dating sites that by the end of 2026 I'll be to make it more concrete ...that's it, I've suffered too much, I'm going to end my life

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

It was a joke.

Maybe use /s next time so we all know that you're being sarcastic. Cuz I thought you were serious as well.

 

[Defenestration]

2026: target: DIE

 

[Bruce]

How did she act? How did you infer intention?

This is beside the point but sure, I'll indulge.

We almost bumped into each-other when going for the bread paper bags. I apologized and moved to the side so she can get one first. She apologized as well showed (as I previously mentioned) a full (seemingly) honest smile, took a paper bag and offered it to me. The full (seemingly) honest smile, that was the first clue. There's a certain way women smile to guys when they like them. It's one of the signals witch which they show they like us. Offering me a paper bag was the second clue. Women in my area are notoriously evil and selfish (guys too), neutral in the best of cases. She showed kindness. There was also they way she stayed close to me. This is another way in which women show guys they like them. By staying close to them they say "Hei! I want to be your buddy!" and "I feel safe near you." That was the third clue. The fourth was how she talked to me, using the singular, not plural form, not with respect but with friendliness. Women in my area will almost always use the plural form (the form that you usually use when talking to elders) because (even though when we are of a similar age) they like to pretend they are younger. I'm not going there. Anyway, using the singular, friendlier form shows that you want to be closer to a person. The fifth, the final clue was that that day I was looking rather dashing. Not to brag but I'm rather athletic (for my age) (I do sports whenever I can) and that day I had my hair cut, I had my beard cut and I was dressed well. This is not the first time when I went through a situation like this. It is annoying though. Not because women hit on me but because it doesn't mean anything, because it is all a game for them. Fuck just go and hit on one of the infinite number of shallow guys that exist all around. I can't do something like this anymore. I'm not capable of trust.

 

[Defenestration]

The person finally unblocked me and said she could come on Monday, apologizing... but she could very well pull the same stunt again on Sunday evening or Monday morning... I'm staying on my guard... and anyway, even if she comes and it's nice, it won't take away my desire to die.

 

[Defenestration]

Monday maybe

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I'm sorry. I'm not borderline but my mother is. Even the slightest bit of pushback or rejection feels like being lit on fire mentally and emotionally. Massive hugs to you <3

 

[Bruce]

The person finally unblocked me and said she could come on Monday, apologizing... but she could very well pull the same stunt again on Sunday evening or Monday morning... I'm staying on my guard... and anyway, even if she comes and it's nice, it won't take away my desire to die.

"She"? But in the first post you said they were a man?

 

[Defenestration]

Ys est un homme...

« Elle » ? Mais dans le premier message, vous avez dit que c'était un homme ?

A man

 

[spero_meliora]

"She"? But in the first post you said they were a man?

If @Defenestration (who is French speaking) is using a translator, any languages that have genders can get it wrong and mess up what you mean.


to you, OP

 

[Bruce]

@Defenestration Oh I didn't know that you were French and were using a translation service. These services do get to get it wrong. It happened before. I'm sorry.

Anyway, just my thoughts here but I think you should stay away from them. When their first reaction is to block you.. yeah. : /

 

[Daphne]

This is beside the point but sure, I'll indulge.

We almost bumped into each-other when going for the bread paper bags. I apologized and moved to the side so she can get one first. She apologized as well showed (as I previously mentioned) a full (seemingly) honest smile, took a paper bag and offered it to me. The full (seemingly) honest smile, that was the first clue. There's a certain way women smile to guys when they like them. It's one of the signals witch which they show they like us. Offering me a paper bag was the second clue. Women in my area are notoriously evil and selfish (guys too), neutral in the best of cases. She showed kindness. There was also they way she stayed close to me. This is another way in which women show guys they like them. By staying close to them they say "Hei! I want to be your buddy!" and "I feel safe near you." That was the third clue. The fourth was how she talked to me, using the singular, not plural form, not with respect but with friendliness. Women in my area will almost always use the plural form (the form that you usually use when talking to elders) because (even though when we are of a similar age) they like to pretend they are younger. I'm not going there. Anyway, using the singular, friendlier form shows that you want to be closer to a person. The fifth, the final clue was that that day I was looking rather dashing. Not to brag but I'm rather athletic (for my age) (I do sports whenever I can) and that day I had my hair cut, I had my beard cut and I was dressed well. This is not the first time when I went through a situation like this. It is annoying though. Not because women hit on me but because it doesn't mean anything, because it is all a game for them. Fuck just go and hit on one of the infinite number of shallow guys that exist all around. I can't do something like this anymore. I'm not capable of trust.

Not knocking your experience, but as a female a simple act of kindness that I would do for anyone gets misinterpreted as flirting when the recipient is a male. In general guys tend to think women who acknowledge their presence in public are hitting on them when they are just engaging in common courtesy.

 

[Bruce]

Not knocking your experience, but as a female a simple act of kindness that I would do for anyone gets misinterpreted as flirting when the recipient is a male. In general guys tend to think women who acknowledge their presence in public are hitting on them when they are just engaging in common courtesy.

Oh no worries, you're not knocking anything. I'm highly aware of the surrounding environment, I know very well what is happening around me and I'm very VERY good when it comes to reading humans. But I have to see and hear them!! There are various microexpressions and body moves that can be read.

Anyway If I say that that's what happened then that is precisely what has happened.