hey, hope anyone reading this is having a day that's not as horrific as mine. I stopped lurking here for a while, I pretty much had a phase of disassociation or whatever it's called where I separated myself from reality and tried to ignore the fact that I'm alive. It gave me peace for two seconds, but I'm still mentally ill and my family doesn't believe me so I can't get help. either way my mental illness Is the least of my problems. while I think therapy can be helpful it just won't fix my material life. my life has always been horrible but the last couple of months It was just quiet and boring. and then yesterday came and I had two of my pets apparently catch something so quickly and die in the same day. I can't really describe with words how devastated I feel. I've been thinking about how they died and if I could have saved them somehow and every second I think about that I hate myself a bit more. I've been also thinking of my other pet and if I can take care of them properly. It'll be really hard to explain. but I basically rely on my family on a lot of things that I wish I didn't have to, and my dad refused to get the one that's left checked up. I told him to sell them or rehome them at least and he said no. I.. just don't understand. I'm angry and sad and I just cannot deal with it anymore.
(note: they're sort of family pets, I wasn't the one who decided to get them but I took care of them the most)
(note: they're sort of family pets, I wasn't the one who decided to get them but I took care of them the most)
