Venting Anhedonia and severe BPD + manic depression

[anonymousapple]

Anhedonia drains so much of my energy and I have no interest in anything, although it comes in waves. just... oh my god, I can't even get on my PC and play games anymore, I just don't want to do anything

i feel bad, because I am dead set on committing suicide, I'm starting to order the materials for the SN method, but..... I have a girlfriend, and she's the first person I've seen that's actually completely understanding of my problems... I'm being selfish, but like, I just can't enjoy anything, and I've tried so many things, even working out for 6 months.

I don't want to type a 5000 word essay on it, but I'm sure some of you understand how severe anhedonia can become right? The only reason I joined this forum is because my best friend committed suicide with the SN method, we completely understood eachother and were close, but she also had anhedonia and although I did my best for weeks trying to convince her to stay with me she still went, and I just don't want to do this

 

[FadingAway]

Anhedonia is completely debilitating for me. I see no hope for the future

 

[BigLucs]

If you're going to do it you have to break up with your girlfriend a decent amount of time before. You don't do that to someone else. I almost did but failed and it crushed her.

FF about 10 months. She hates me and I have all my supplies. Hopefully I'm gone by next weekend. Good luck on whatever your choice is.

 

[Raminiki]

I experience/am diagnosed with all the things described in the post title. Like you, the anhedonia comes and goes, but is present more than absent. Medication can also make it worse. I don't want to come off as a miserable git, but it's inevitable when I cannot experience happiness, and am physically numb and emotionally unstable. The worst part of it to me has been the gradual loss of creative ability and expression. Writing and art were therapeutic and a form of beneficial escapism for me, but outside of rare manias I'm no longer capable of doing either, or deriving satisfaction for any small achievement.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Anhedonia SUCKS. It's like you're trying to enjoy something and your mind remembers you that you are depressed and shouldn't enjoy anything I happens to me when I play music

 

[BitterlyAlive]

Just wanna say fuuuck anhedonia.

 

[Lost Girl xx]

Anhedonia affects me with basically every fucking thing in life, it's the worst & no one around me would ever understand