Anger at inability to CTB

[Painless_end]

I feel very angry at my inability to CTB. I cannot quite fathom why I would be completely and truly useless as a person and yet not possess the ability to overcome survival instinct or fear of pain.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Same. It's like I'm freezed. I want to ctb so much. Nothing matters to me anymore but I dont want to fail and make the situation worse.

 

[Passersby]

I know what you mean. I've been at this shit now for 5 yrs. just a few things that keep holding me back but I would like to just say screw it and override those things but it's hard. Almost ctb today actually. Eventually I will. There is no way out for me. This sucks!

 

[lotus11]

yes, I feel this post so much. wtf am I still doing here, i have nothing to live for

 

[depression999]

Same it's all I want is to CTB but I'm petrified. It also scares me to be found before I'm at peace

 

[Painless_end]

I feel very angry at my inability to CTB. I cannot quite fathom why I would be completely and truly useless as a person and yet not possess the ability to overcome survival instinct or fear of pain.

It's over 8 months since I posted this and I still feel the same way

 

[FuneralCry]

I know how this feels. It is a curse of being human, how our brains are programmed to pull out of it when a situation is thought to be dangerous. This is why we need a right to die legally people are forced to suffer on this earth to extreme extents because they cannot get over this instinct.