Am I the only one who feels like I’m lucky and better than others because Im CTB

[Tyra]

Because I don't have to live the rest of my life as a slave. Because I'll never feel ANY pain again.

We will all eventually die. It would be a different story if we didn't have to die.

And depending on the method, I will avoid a lot of pain. Being old is painful. You have falls and break bones. And then when you die, you don't know if you'll get a painful heart attack or not.

I just feel like I won the lottery when I think about CTB. Lottery is just money tho. This is everything! It solves ALL my problems.

 

[Dawnfang11]

I remember feeling that way too when I was deadset on CTB. In retrospect, I now feel like, in many ways, I lost the lottery. Whatever brought me to wish for death in the first place sure wasn't a stroke of luck.

Wish you luck on your path, friend o7 hope you find your peace.

 

[urgent]

Because I don't have to live the rest of my life as a slave. Because I'll never feel ANY pain again.

We will all eventually die. It would be a different story if we didn't have to die.

And depending on the method, I will avoid a lot of pain. Being old is painful. You have falls and break bones. And then when you die, you don't know if you'll get a painful heart attack or not.

I just feel like I won the lottery when I think about CTB. Lottery is just money tho. This is everything! It solves

I don't feel lucky. I can't take this pain but there is no way for me to be sure I will be out of pain

 

[Manfrotto99]

Problem is you don't know what is on the other side...I understand when things are so bad it's worth the risk - but I would not say there is anything lucky about having no choice at all but to either suffer or take that risk.

Luck is having choices and I cannot see ending ones life as a willing choice - other than a willing choice to end pain and suffering....in which casitI do not think it is really a choice - because no one chooses a life of pain and suffering to begin with...it is forced on us.

The lucky ones I believe are those who get to do what they were made to do with the free will to make choices along the way (at least to some extent)- what our human DNA made us for - to live and to prosper.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Only if my (hopefully) eventual attempt goes smoothly and (relatively) painlessly. I won't consider myself lucky if I'm in agony or, if it doesn't work and I'm left in an even worse state.

I can only go so far on passive ideation. When I start to consider what I'm actually going to have to put myself though to leave this shit show, I become very fearful. Plus- resentful too.

Life's difficult for so many people. After all that suffering in life- why should we have to go through this likely terrifying, risky and painful process alone to try and free ourselves?

On the one hand, I do know what you mean. It's nice to tell myself I don't need to worry about a pension. I don't need to worry about old age, health deteriorating and a drawn out death. But then- I'm also very conscious of what I'll need to put myself through to save myself from that.

I suppose I'm curious. Are you very confident in your chosen suicide method? I feel like that would maybe allow me to enjoy passive ideation more.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Because I don't have to live the rest of my life as a slave. Because I'll never feel ANY pain again.

We will all eventually die. It would be a different story if we didn't have to die.

And depending on the method, I will avoid a lot of pain. Being old is painful. You have falls and break bones. And then when you die, you don't know if you'll get a painful heart attack or not.

I just feel like I won the lottery when I think about CTB. Lottery is just money tho. This is everything! It solves ALL my problems.

my Death solves all my problems instantly and forever

1 micro second after my brain dies it can never create the horror of consciousness in which there is a me suffering continously constant unbearable pain

if someone will soon be in unending constant unbearable pain every second the worst agony with no escape then of course escaping that torture by suicide is better than winning a lottery

there is no guarantee any human or other sentient animal with a brain won't fall into such a trap of extreme torture as i'm describing here. the only guarantee of not suffering continuous constant unbearable agony evey second is Non-existence forever

a human alive can suffer such in a hell trap. but if I don't exist u can never suffer extremely and never suffer at all . as was the case for 13.8 billion years before I was born

the lucky ones are those that were neve born

it's much better if I were never born . I didn't ask to be in this nightmare. the only I can do is kill these monstrous cells they call a human body im trapped in

 

[itsgone2]

I see your point but no I don't feel lucky. I've lived most of my life incorrectly due to mental issues and poor decision making. I've never particularly enjoyed life so I won't miss it.
But some people do and I wish I were them. They grew up in loving homes. They were raised properly. Taught the right things to value.
I didn't get that and I completely messed up my chance. It's all horrific.
I agree I won't miss getting old as that will happen alone. But to get old with a family around you would have been nice.
I wish I had figured it all out. Not disagreeing with op but to me those are the lucky ones.

 

[Neonfeel]

Problem is you don't know what is on the other side...I understand when things are so bad it's worth the risk - but I would not say there is anything lucky about having no choice at all but to either suffer or take that risk.

Luck is having choices and I cannot see ending ones life as a willing choice - other than a willing choice to end pain and suffering....in which casitI do not think it is really a choice - because no one chooses a life of pain and suffering to begin with...it is forced on us.

The lucky ones I believe are those who get to do what they were made to do with the free will to make choices along the way (at least to some extent)- what our human DNA made us for - to live and to prosper.

I very much agree with Manfrotto99. I feel the same about the "unknown other side" and about ctb steming from a threat more than a choice. Suffer or die is a threat.

I would just add that I do believe it takes a degree of selfishness to be perfectly content in this world just because your life is good. Life is so incredibly wrong for so many people, people that would makes us look priviledged, mind you. So yeah... I dont know what "the virtuous but non threatening life would look like"? maybe a life where you are mainly okay - there are no direct attacks to your happiness, you have many loved ones and are finacially stable - but also suffering for the world.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

I feel more at peace when i think about CTB

 

[Manfrotto99]

I see your point but no I don't feel lucky. I've lived most of my life incorrectly due to mental issues and poor decision making. I've never particularly enjoyed life so I won't miss it.
But some people do and I wish I were them. They grew up in loving homes. They were raised properly. Taught the right things to value.
I didn't get that and I completely messed up my chance. It's all horrific.
I agree I won't miss getting old as that will happen alone. But to get old with a family around you would have been nice.
I wish I had figured it all out. Not disagreeing with op but to me those are the lucky ones.

How did you completely mess up if you didn't get many advantages and chance in life to begin with? We all make mistakes but Growing up in a loving home is so very important in providing the right foundations to survive in this incredibly difficult world. You cannot completely blame yourself.

 

[itsgone2]

How did you completely mess up if you didn't get many advantages and chance in life to begin with? We all make mistakes but Growing up in a loving home is so very important in providing the right foundations to survive in this incredibly difficult world. You cannot completely blame yourself.

Correct. Not the right environment. But it's not like I didn't know. I just never figured out what I should do. Idk hard to explain in brief. Ultimately I had time to figure it out and I didn't.

 

[dirkw83]

You "are CTB"? Sorry, I am trying to understand, are you saying that you identify as CTB? lol I don't get it. But anyway lol I don't feel lucky about it being forced to kill yourself is a really bad deal I think.

 

[Tyra]

You "are CTB"? Sorry, I am trying to understand, are you saying that you identify as CTB? lol I don't get it. But anyway lol I don't feel lucky about it being forced to kill yourself is a really bad deal I think.

I'm CTB… as in 'I'm catching the bus'. Lol… yeah looking back on it now, I can see how that's probably not how the term CTB is to be used.

 

[caotic_realm]

More than luck, it gives me a sense of peace.

What would truly be luck would be finding a bottle of "N" somewhere and being able to calmly and peacefully plan my death date. It would be a real stroke of luck to be able to set such an important date, at least for me.

 

[peacebenow]

Lucky and better than others because of needing to ctb? I can't even wrap my head around that concept.