ALWAYS THINKING OF CTB

[StarryStarry]

I constantly think about ctb. I know that eventually that is how I'll go. If I plan things out for my life I always have Plan A, Plan B and of course good old Plan C - ctb. It makes me feel secure knowing that I can leave this shitty world whenever I want. Not sure why I'm hanging in there. Everyone I love (except my cat) is already gone. I'm by myself - not friends or family (who the hell wants to be around somebody wh ois depressed?) I used to be funny, I worked for a company and dressed as the mascot for marketing events. I dressed as a Harley chick for Haloweed, I used to laugh and even smile. Now all I can seem to muster is tears and sadness. I don't think anything will ever change. I think this is how the rest of my life will be. I am very grateful that I can come here to this site and share my feelings. I have no where else to go. Thanks for listening.

 

[onleana]

i think about cbt 24/7 too. im sending you lots of hugs friend

 

[FuneralCry]

I am always thinking about ctb as well as I never want to be alive. I would like a peaceful death and it is what I deserve. I do think it can be a relief for many people having plans to leave so they can exit at a time of their own choosing when they have had enough. I'm sorry you are going through this, it can be dreadful when everything is hopeless. Life can be very depressing. I wish you the best.

 

[jkfromfaraway]

If I somehow never ctb, I feel that I'll be cursed to think about it every hour until I die another way.

 

[nowayout*]

If I somehow never ctb, I feel that I'll be cursed to think about it every hour until I die another way.

Same

 

[rationaltake]

I can't imagine going any other way. I think about ctb all the time.

 

[xoxo13]

sending lots of good energy! i definitely resonate and feel like i'm thinking abt it pretty much all the time .. unless i'm like h*gh outta my mind lol

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Join the club.