Alright, here's my plan

[September5th]

Okay, after almost a month here on the site, I've finally read enough materials to come up with a plan.
I'm giving myself two months. In case nothing changes, I'm out. I will go to a psychiatrist and get help. If it's worthless, I'm done.
In any case, I'll buy some SN by the end of this month (it's cheap in Brazil). I'll then go to a doctor and try to get some metoclopramide (would be nice if you guys helped me to come up with a lie or something). Finally, cimetidine is easy to get. I think that's about it, right?
I'll kill myself on August 27th or September 5th, not sure yet. Those were the two best days of my life in another year so it's going to be methodical. I'll be in my hometown by then (vacations). I'll tell my mom that I'll spend the night with some girl in a hotel. It's nothing new, so she won't suspect a damn thing. I will then book a room in São Paulo and finally rest (in a very special place for me).
I'm thinking of leaving some notes (possibly via email).
I'm starting to get excited with the prospect of finally dying and not feeling pain and guilt any longer. A part of me want the next two months to suck so much that I'll have no other choice. Eternal nothingness. That's beautiful.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also look forward to non existence. I find the thought of dying to be comforting as nothing can hurt me once I am gone, death is true peace and freedom from all suffering. I wish you the best in whatever you choose to do.

 

[Silent.Tears]

I'm glad you're giving life one more chance and I wish things will get better for you. In any case, whatever your final decision, you are loved by SS community Feel free to text in case you need a listener

 

[dustyfurcollector]

It feels really good to have a plan, doesn't it. I think I've finally found my meto and next month I'll get my propranolol. I have tagamet. I'm getting there and each step makes me happier. I hope that whatever will give you the most joy will be the one you choose. And that you CAN choose. Either way. Whatever.

 

[london3]

Okay, after almost a month here on the site, I've finally read enough materials to come up with a plan.
I'm giving myself two months. In case nothing changes, I'm out. I will go to a psychiatrist and get help. If it's worthless, I'm done.
In any case, I'll buy some SN by the end of this month (it's cheap in Brazil). I'll then go to a doctor and try to get some metoclopramide (would be nice if you guys helped me to come up with a lie or something). Finally, cimetidine is easy to get. I think that's about it, right?
I'll kill myself on August 27th or September 5th, not sure yet. Those were the two best days of my life in another year so it's going to be methodical. I'll be in my hometown by then (vacations). I'll tell my mom that I'll spend the night with some girl in a hotel. It's nothing new, so she won't suspect a damn thing. I will then book a room in São Paulo and finally rest (in a very special place for me).
I'm thinking of leaving some notes (possibly via email).
I'm starting to get excited with the prospect of finally dying and not feeling pain and guilt any longer. A part of me want the next two months to suck so much that I'll have no other choice. Eternal nothingness. That's beautiful.

I wish you the best of luck and that everything goes to plan.