Almost CTB earlier than planned

[tilsleepcomes]

Content warning.

I was buying Fentanyl in prep for likely CTB at a later date. The dealer had some out for me to sample it. Apparently it was a bad hit cuz the very tiny amount he had out caused me to overdose. Neither of us expected it. I'm talking full on seizure, turned blue, and dealer had no Narcan.

Docs said I was almost a goner. They were bringing a psych to see me in ER but I managed to convince them it was an experiment to get high. I think I only narrowly escaped the psych ward. It was clear to them that someone like me wouldn't normally be buying twenty doses worth of fentanyl.

It happened so fast, like within two minutes. I almost died BEFORE I was ready. It was actually scary that it happened and I wasn't in control any more. It was A LOT faster than I expected and there would be no easy turning back if I'd been CTB and had second thoughts.

Had he not been there and I had sampled it at home alone, as I planned, I would be dead by accident and not in an intentional, controlled act.

I would say this method is only for me/for those when they are absolutely certain they are ready, and want it to be fast. I know there are risks if you are short on the amount needed, or help arrives, but apparently the one bad hit was enough to do it in this case had he not been there.

Hopefully this was the right topic forum.

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you for sharing your experience. That sounds really terrifying what you went through.

 

[tilsleepcomes]

It was scary losing control and I'm glad I discovered what it would be like now versus ruining my chosen last moments.

 

[toasterbath]

These synthetic drugs are no joke and god knows what's being mixed in them. It's going to start to get more and more common as synthetic drugs are cheaper and more potent easier to transport and plant based ones will be more for the rich. I'm glad that you are safe now and also confirmed that it is a quick method that shouldn't be played around with until ur serious about CTB.

 

[lofticries]

You weren't in any pain when you were having those seizures?

I'm glad no further complications came with this accidental overdose.

 

[tilsleepcomes]

You weren't in any pain when you were having those seizures?

No pain, no solid memory of anything after about two minutes into it. I felt super drunk and queezy when it started to hit, and after a minute I knew something was wrong. That's when I got scared, but calm. Before I could calmly figure out to call 911 or anything, I apparently lost consciousness and my head hit the floor and I was seizing. Then blue/purple. The ambulance was apparently super fast for a change in my big city and they hit me with Narcan, which I was on intravenously for hours. All I have are jumbled half memories of the ambulance, and then waking up in emergency connected to heart monitors and oxygen.

No pain, just surprise and fear. I won't be afraid if I choose it as my method after all, but the immense drunken feeling was very surprising.
.
I think it would be traumatic for anyone finding me, if they found me before I'd passed.

The description of me flopping around was pretty bad. The hardened drug dealer was so freaked out by my performance that he didn't even think to remove my drugs from the scene and we were both almost in a lot of trouble.

I have cuts and bruises on me from the seizure, that's how bad it was. Def need some solid privacy measures so people don't hear a seizure OR the apparently unmistakable snoring of someone having respiratory distress.

I will have to take steps to consider others.

 

[outrider567]

No pain, no solid memory of anything after about two minutes into it. I felt super drunk and queezy when it started to hit, and after a minute I knew something was wrong. That's when I got scared, but calm. Before I could calmly figure out to call 911 or anything, I apparently lost consciousness and my head hit the floor and I was seizing. Then blue/purple. The ambulance was apparently super fast for a change in my big city and they hit me with Narcan, which I was on intravenously for hours. All I have are jumbled half memories of the ambulance, and then waking up in emergency connected to heart monitors and oxygen.

No pain, just surprise and fear. I won't be afraid if I choose it as my method after all, but the immense drunken feeling was very surprising.
.
I think it would be traumatic for anyone finding me, if they found me before I'd passed.

The description of me flopping around was pretty bad. The hardened drug dealer was so freaked out by my performance that he didn't even think to remove my drugs from the scene and we were both almost in a lot of trouble.

I have cuts and bruises on me from the seizure, that's how bad it was. Def need some solid privacy measures so people don't hear a seizure OR the apparently unmistakable snoring of someone having respiratory distress.

I will have to take steps to consider others.

Scary stuff