KLUF
Member
- Jun 16, 2020
- 70
I tried belt+door method a couple times, during both I got scared and pulled back. It feels like my Adam's apple is going to break/collapse which will inflict some pain.
I'm most likely a dumbass who wants a too easy way out and do it wrong. Or maybe my problem is not as severe to force me to endure some pain before that sweet black screen.
Jumping could be a better way :thinking:, gonna look into getting access to tall buildings' roofs. Even getting SN probably.
I am just not interested in life and don't have plans for bigger part of my life ahead.
I don't really want to make plans, because why? Why go through life's struggle for the next 40-50-60 years? We'll end up dead anyway, if not now, then later.
The more I live, the more I understand how world works, everything is basically iterations of attempts to satisfy basic human needs. Feel free to prove me wrong. With that in mind, living becomes way too bland and grey. I don't know how to overcome that. Of course, I can enjoy a sunny day, a rainy day when the air smells fresh, she smell of freshly mowed grass etc. But it all comes and goes. Boring and bland existence stays and will stick for a long time.
In a nutshell, I can say that I'm not ready/too-afraid to die, but don't know how/why to live. A damn existential limbo. Goddamn
Thanks for reading some random person's mini rant on the internet.
I'm most likely a dumbass who wants a too easy way out and do it wrong. Or maybe my problem is not as severe to force me to endure some pain before that sweet black screen.
Jumping could be a better way :thinking:, gonna look into getting access to tall buildings' roofs. Even getting SN probably.
I am just not interested in life and don't have plans for bigger part of my life ahead.
I don't really want to make plans, because why? Why go through life's struggle for the next 40-50-60 years? We'll end up dead anyway, if not now, then later.
The more I live, the more I understand how world works, everything is basically iterations of attempts to satisfy basic human needs. Feel free to prove me wrong. With that in mind, living becomes way too bland and grey. I don't know how to overcome that. Of course, I can enjoy a sunny day, a rainy day when the air smells fresh, she smell of freshly mowed grass etc. But it all comes and goes. Boring and bland existence stays and will stick for a long time.
In a nutshell, I can say that I'm not ready/too-afraid to die, but don't know how/why to live. A damn existential limbo. Goddamn
Thanks for reading some random person's mini rant on the internet.
