advice sort of on getting better :)

[triggerfinger]

hey. i feel a bit guilty for even being on here. recently i've gotten my first boyfriend, and he's so sweet. however i mentioned to him my past feelings about wanting to end things and mentioned feeling that coming back again. he was so sweet, the last time i saw him he was really concerned, and he wanted to have my family's number because he was worried for my safety. he's always worried for my safety.

i dont think i'd actually kill myself, but i feel my thoughts softly wandering in that direction still from time to time. im apathetic towards both life and death, and when i get upset or have intense feelings i always end up taking it out on myself, if you know what i mean. how can i make things better?

thank you for reading :)

 

[Jadeith]

how can i make things better?

Keep in mind that i'm not a professional. Given that you have a person you can trust, rely on and who genuinely cares about you - honest conversation about your worries, thoughts and feelings bears possibility to make you feel better.

 

[Pon]

The worst state for a person to be in, is that in which they feel lonely among others.
Remind yourself that you have a loving person who wants to care for you and listen to you, and that you do not have to be alone with your feelings!
Even if you worry about making him worry further, rest assured that it is ultimately the biggest relief for the both of you to communicate about this and have a mutual understanding of the situation.

This will accomplish two things:
※You will start departing from the need to vent on yourself, as you will have much healthier and organic means to do so through your significant other giving you support and affection.

※The act of having established that no matter how you feel and how bad things get, you can freely speak your mind and be understood and reassured from him will give you a safety, a warmth to keep you company when you find yourself back down.

Be open, do not hide yourself or your thoughts, and I believe you will look back on these worries with a giggle in the embrace of the one who cares most for you!