Absolutely terrified of turning 30...

[Busticket]

In a few months I am going to turn 29.
Meaning 1 year until I am 30.
With nothing to show for it.
No degree.
No money.
No gf.
Nothing.
It makes me suicidal like nothing else.

 

[Beachedwhale]

People of all ages get degrees. Is there not something you could study now that could get you a job you want?

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I became a NEET in my 30s for almost 3 years and now that I'm 33 my life is improving a lot so, my point is, no matter how much "you suck", you can start improving your life from TODAY on!

Easier said than done but it is really possible.

A degree? Not necessary. I have a friend who hasn't even finished high school and decided to become a freelance programmer by watching programming videos on YouTube (java) and now has lots of money lol.

Money? You can get it if you look for it. My last example is a way to get some of it.

Gf? Did you really look for them? I've been rejected thousands of times but if you keep on looking for them everywhere, (dating apps, omegle, tinychat, etc) you'll find someone sooner or later! Maybe here on SS lol!

We're suicidal and want to get the hell outta this planet asap but that doesn't mean we can't be successful at life.
However, depression loves making us think it's over, when it clearly isn't.

Hope you can feel better soon!

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

Things could improve for you, you are honestly still quite young. Getting older scares me as a 20 year old, I hate the idea of old age and it sucks because I am likely to have decades left of living. Life really can be cruel to us.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

This thread is very, very relatable Busticket; the thought of aging can feel terrifying. Originally I did not want to live past 25, and so planned on taking my own life when I was around 20-21 - it did not happen. Now I am here and in my late 20's, so I can understand what you may be feeling too.

 

[Beachedwhale]

Things could improve for you, you are honestly still quite young. Getting older scares me as a 20 year old, I hate the idea of old age and it sucks because I am likely to have decades left of living. Life really can be cruel to us.

I would kill to be 20 again and do a 180 in my life. I mean a huge 180, unearthing the dreams that I was burying in my mind, doing the things I was afraid of doing, listening to my body and desires, and chasing my desires and dreams and becoming the man I wanted to be, the opinions of my 'family' be damned.

 

[Celerity]

28. Right there with you. When I think of what a 30 year old should be like and should have experienced by that point, I'm definitely not it.

 

[Lost Magic]

My 30's have been shitty so far. Nothing to do with this decade of life, but it has been bloody awful. I lost important family members, failed to find meaningful employment, live in the same crappy village and have to deal with mental health issues. I don't want to see my 40th. Fuck that. Aint gonna get any better, but I am trying to live in the now and live as comfortably as I can until I catch the bus. Why can't it be a train instead. I hate buses haha

 

[toforigivelife]

I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings because I know feeling suicidal goes very deep.

But everyone makes a big deal out of 30 as a milestone birthday.

It's a part of society's and the system's way of pressuring you to produce more and to spend more money but chipping at your self-esteem.

You're still young. You're not a little kid anymore but you're still young.

A lot of people didn't find success or, in other words, find a calling that meant something to them until they were in their 30s.

You still have time. A lot of time.

You still have to build a future, create a retirement plan, to take some classes and learn valuable skills, to start an online business or service...

You still have A LOT of time to create the life that you want. You're still young and vital at 30, you're just not a wide-eyed, vulnerable, naive kid anymore.

If turning 30 in a year is compounding your depression and suicidal feelings, that's another matter. Turning 30 is not the problem.

Hope things get better for you.

 

[motel rooms]

I'm not trying to dismiss your feelings because I know feeling suicidal goes very deep.

But everyone makes a big deal out of 30 as a milestone birthday.

He disabled his account

 

[toforigivelife]

He disabled his account

Oh.

Well, maybe another 29 year-old will get something out of my answer.

 

[Lost Magic]

Oh.

Well, maybe another 29 year-old will get something out of my answer.

I agree. Society puts a lot of emphasise on getting older, especially as you move into another decade. It doesn't change the fact that this world is meaningless bullshit until you die. However, some people can live relatively comfortable lives, at any age.

 

[motel rooms]

You're still young and vital at 30

This forum is full of people in their 20s who aren't vital at all. Chronological youth & vitality aren't synonymous

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Oh.

Well, maybe another 29 year-old will get something out of my answer.

No offense, I can see you're trying to help, but the things you list as still possible are sometimes completely impossible for some 30 or any age...so reading the list reads very depressing. Reading 'you still have time, a lot of time' is uber shitty for someone truly hopeless and suicidal. I honestly don't think anyone reading your list will get anything from it other than anxiety. The things you point out are all things people are aware of. You keep saying 'you have a lot of time'....this is SO disturbing. The things you point out people are aware of. There is a baseline of failure that once there makes it really hard and sometimes impossible to break out of.

You don't sound suicidal.

 

[toforigivelife]

No offense, I can see you're trying to help, but the things you list as still possible are sometimes completely impossible for some 30 or any age...so reading the list reads very depressing. Reading 'you still have time, a lot of time' is uber shitty for someone truly hopeless and suicidal. I honestly don't think anyone reading your list will get anything from it other than anxiety. The things you point out are all things people are aware of. You keep saying 'you have a lot of time'....this is SO disturbing. The things you point out people are aware of. There is a baseline of failure that once there makes it really hard and sometimes impossible to break out of.

You don't sound suicidal.

If I got the chance to go back to being 30 I wouldn't be suicidal.

Having the chance to make better decisions? The last 22 years would've turned out very, very, very differently.

I was just remembering my anxieties about turning 30 and I wanted to share my insights.

And you're right. People can turn things around at any age. Under the right circumstances and given that they are healthy enough.

I have both mental health and some pretty heavy circumstances working against me.