Venting a super silly reason to stay alive

[houseofleaves]

(sorry for making a thread for such silly vent! i wanted to share this in general chat, but they were having a rather serious discussion there)
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I thought about wearing tomorrow something more interesting than just t-shirt and jeans. So i started to go through my wardrobe, and, well — generally i don't regret anything, i'm sure i'll die a happy person; but beautiful clothes remind me of a life i will never have, and that makes me sad.

So, guys, imagine. A grey costume that would make anyone look like a CEO of a successful company. Perfect with a turtleneck and pearl necklace.

A puffy dress with halter neck, for performances. When i was buying it, i gave special attention to the fabric components so the dress could survive being in a washing machine. I thought i would use it for a long, long time. I had a chance to wear it only once.

Red turtleneck. Looks really good with lipstick of the same color — and i even bought the lipstick. Ah, silly me.

A christmas sweater with deers. I always saved it for some big celebration that i imagined; with friends, champagne and presents opening ceremony. But my friends always spent holidays with their families (in no way i am offended by their choice, family is important!), and i usually cried alone.

Two black blouses with white collars, super cute. I look like a perfect student in them. Bought them to wear to class; and, as you can guess, i don't go to class anymore.

A black slip dress. Kinda revealing, but super classy and elegant (like Paloma's dress from «No time to die»). Thought i would wear it to parties. Again, silly me, lol.

An underwear collection. Beautiful pieces with flower embroidery and ribbons. Thought i would find someone who'd like to date me, haha. I wanted to make eye-catching, tasteful photos wearing this, so this person would look at them and feel special. Bruh.

I collected this clothes and kept them with such love and care — and it doesn't matter. Nothing does matter anymore, except testing SN, buying antiemetics, writing notes, et cetera. Death takes any joy away, c'est la vie.


(Disclaimer: i didn't write this to brag about hOw BeAuTiFuL i Am — i'm pretty fat and my face is average. I just wanted to share my feelings. Please be kind )

 

[CommitSudoku]

I never really got to pursue any style in high school and only in recent years did I approach buying clothes that I'd actually like to where that aren't either baggy shirts or normal 'professional' type clothes. Now I've got some okay pieces (not much still) but no motivation to wear them at all. I did have someone who made me want to dress up, but that relationship is no more. I feel bad for some of the things I bought wasting away with me. And regret I'll never be a person who can openly accept things and wear them. I feel like this life has been a waste sometimes, I'm not sure if I lived very much of it for myself.

I'm sorry you couldn't go through with many things and wear what you wanted to. It sounds like you have many beautiful outfits. I think you'd look great in them, but of course I don't have any basis to really say. But you seem to grasp fashion really well and went to a lot of trouble to do things right.

 

[houseofleaves]

I never really got to pursue any style in high school and only in recent years did I approach buying clothes that I'd actually like to where that aren't either baggy shirts or normal 'professional' type clothes. Now I've got some okay pieces (not much still) but no motivation to wear them at all. I did have someone who made me want to dress up, but that relationship is no more. I feel bad for some of the things I bought wasting away with me. And regret I'll never be a person who can openly accept things and wear them. I feel like this life has been a waste sometimes, I'm not sure if I lived very much of it for myself.

I'm sorry you couldn't go through with many things and wear what you wanted to. It sounds like you have many beautiful outfits. I think you'd look great in them, but of course I don't have any basis to really say. But you seem to grasp fashion really well and went to a lot of trouble to do things right.

thank you for this kind words!

 

[SpaceCadet]

In my case i'm not too self conscious, i care more about shaving my beard and keep my haircut neat. Other than that i wear simple clothes most of the time, when i go out i don't like standing out, guess i'm just boring. But I do think it's great that you like dressing well.

 

[Lostandlooking]

The way you describe the outfits is very beautiful. Thank you for writing. I've always had trouble with assembling outfits. I just don't have a good sense for it. But I enjoy seeing other people wear cool outfits. <3

 

[Of The Universe]

If u want to send me some photos,perhaps I could give my sartorial impressions. We could start with the underwear.

 

[sealbabies]

I just want to die in my partner's big brown leather jacket, my paint covered plaid chucks he complimented when we met at the coffee shop, jeans and whatever doesn't matter exactly.
But I really want to go mostly with the two baby seal-shaped pillows he bought me.

And yeah, my mind is either spacing or I'm thinking about getting my SN in, and ctb ultimately.

 

[Famous Last Words]

If u want to send me some photos,perhaps I could give my sartorial impressions. We could start with the underwear.

You're asking for her to send you pictures of her underwear?

 

[Zeus35]

You're asking for her to send you pictures of her underwear?

I think there's something wrong with him