Venting A crushing loneliness; the world doesn't get it.

[YesImAware]

As an autistic, trans woman in my mid 40s I'm already a statistic, however spoiler, the world around me thinks my life is good. I'm a (minor) public figure, in a position of some (minor) influence with access to lots of "powerful" folks. I'm passable, and even my autism is looked at as a quirk.

Herein lies the problem. I'm so lonely, and so alone. As my name says "Yes, I'm aware." I'm aware of my autistic personality traits, aware that men want me, just to fuck me, aware that I'll always be a curiousity to many.

I just want to be held. I just want to be loved.

I'm so open about my ideations that I've tweeted about CTB and this site, and all I get is commiseration. People don't get it.

This forum has been such a relief. People get it here

I hope to make it 55, to out run the bus til then. But I'm so exhausted, it's coming. I just want to feel love before it does.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Sanva]

I think I feel the same way, I'm also autistic and it sucks. People think I'm okay because I do okay academically and yeah, I get attention from men but it's only because they want sex. I've never been truly loved by anyone because it's so hard for neurotypicals to really understand.

What makes me angry is when people say autistic women have it easier. I had this discussion with an autistic guy about how it's impossible to be lonely as a woman because we can "get sex easily". It's so fucking annoying, people really think sex = not lonely. I want someone who loves me, who is interested in what I have to say. Someone who will support me.

I'm sorry you have to struggle this way. As an autistic woman in her twenties, it's good to hear that you've been able to build a fairly succesful life for yourself. But I know how painful it is when everyone around you thinks you're doing fine and you have to keep up that front when you're really not okay. I wish you the best and I hope you can find the love you want.

 

[Fenrirsend]

As an autistic, trans woman in my mid 40s I'm already a statistic, however spoiler, the world around me thinks my life is good. I'm a (minor) public figure, in a position of some (minor) influence with access to lots of "powerful" folks. I'm passable, and even my autism is looked at as a quirk.

Herein lies the problem. I'm so lonely, and so alone. As my name says "Yes, I'm aware." I'm aware of my autistic personality traits, aware that men want me, just to fuck me, aware that I'll always be a curiousity to many.

I just want to be held. I just want to be loved.

I'm so open about my ideations that I've tweeted about CTB and this site, and all I get is commiseration. People don't get it.

This forum has been such a relief. People get it here

I hope to make it 55, to out run the bus til then. But I'm so exhausted, it's coming. I just want to feel love before it does.

Thanks for reading.

I understand crushing loneliness and wish it upon no one. When you reached out as you say in tweets was it just passing mentions like "it's sad these places need to exist in today's world" or full blown "this is what it's come to, this is what I need" reaching out? People are dumb and dense, sometimes you gotta be blunt and spell it out for them.

I'm sorry your lonely...always down to talk or rant to or just a wall to scream at if you need.

 

[rampwild]

I'm trans too, it's really hard and I think about ctb often. Thinkin of ya hope you're able to ride it out to 55

 

[YesImAware]

I think I feel the same way, I'm also autistic and it sucks. People think I'm okay because I do okay academically and yeah, I get attention from men but it's only because they want sex. I've never been truly loved by anyone because it's so hard for neurotypicals to really understand.

What makes me angry is when people say autistic women have it easier. I had this discussion with an autistic guy about how it's impossible to be lonely as a woman because we can "get sex easily". It's so fucking annoying, people really think sex = not lonely. I want someone who loves me, who is interested in what I have to say. Someone who will support me.

I'm sorry you have to struggle this way. As an autistic woman in her twenties, it's good to hear that you've been able to build a fairly succesful life for yourself. But I know how painful it is when everyone around you thinks you're doing fine and you have to keep up that front when you're really not okay. I wish you the best and I hope you can find the love you want.

This!!!

I understand crushing loneliness and wish it upon no one. When you reached out as you say in tweets was it just passing mentions like "it's sad these places need to exist in today's world" or full blown "this is what it's come to, this is what I need" reaching out? People are dumb and dense, sometimes you gotta be blunt and spell it out for them.

I'm sorry your lonely...always down to talk or rant to or just a wall to scream at if you ne

I was pretty clear!

 

[FuneralCry]

For many people, loneliness can be painful. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know that for some people, being alone and not being understood can be isolating. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Fenrirsend]

This!!!



I was pretty clear!

Yea that's pretty in their face clear... I'm sorry, my problem with social media... Those numbers mean nothing and no one really cares... Well I'm sorry you feel that way and im sorry no one took it seriously..... My offer still stands and always will.