LookingGlassOfSorrow
Member
- Dec 22, 2019
- 26
1st Attempt : I'm typing this after pumping myself full of propane gas for 8 minutes straight. From 3:18PM - 3:25PM. I notice that I am a little slow in movement and thought but I'm slowly coming back to myself.
I turned the propane 3 or 4 times and it followed very slowly and I adjusted the exit bag multiple times (you have to let out the CO2 so as to no activate the alarm in your body to live). Regardless...I had many many thoughts of living and surviving but I fought them away. I had cuffs on my legs and had duct taped my thighs together just above the knees and later attempted to duct tape my arms together in a rushed attempt. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind (mostly about calling my Mom which wouldn't help cause she would call the police and I'd be admitted). 8 whole minutes that felt longer, the smell of the propane didn't affect me too much but at some point I rapidly pulled the bag off my head and chucked it far. I was extremely sluggish, sad as a few tears rolled down my face in sadness and defeat. I finally began to SLOWLY UN-duct tape my arms and legs which seemed to take forever as I was sluggish. Thoughts of the next attempt didn't leave me as I guess this was a test run. Next time....tie hands behind me and increase the flow of propane to come out quicker or full force as I had the flow very low. I feel dumb like the 8 minutes without oxygen deleted some brain cells. Regardless...I will try again and update.
I turned the propane 3 or 4 times and it followed very slowly and I adjusted the exit bag multiple times (you have to let out the CO2 so as to no activate the alarm in your body to live). Regardless...I had many many thoughts of living and surviving but I fought them away. I had cuffs on my legs and had duct taped my thighs together just above the knees and later attempted to duct tape my arms together in a rushed attempt. A lot of thoughts ran through my mind (mostly about calling my Mom which wouldn't help cause she would call the police and I'd be admitted). 8 whole minutes that felt longer, the smell of the propane didn't affect me too much but at some point I rapidly pulled the bag off my head and chucked it far. I was extremely sluggish, sad as a few tears rolled down my face in sadness and defeat. I finally began to SLOWLY UN-duct tape my arms and legs which seemed to take forever as I was sluggish. Thoughts of the next attempt didn't leave me as I guess this was a test run. Next time....tie hands behind me and increase the flow of propane to come out quicker or full force as I had the flow very low. I feel dumb like the 8 minutes without oxygen deleted some brain cells. Regardless...I will try again and update.
