Your dreams that will never come true

[First loss]

I had a lot of dreams in this short life of mine. I wanted to be a singer. Too bad I have a horrible voice. Recently, I took interest in metal singing. I am still horrible. Bearable to listen, but still under average.

My biggest dreams in this life is to be successful and loved. I am neither.

What about you lads? What is something that you wish for with all your heart but it will never come true?

 

[Dead beat dad]

To not be constantly tired, irrespective of quantity of sleep achieved

 

[Final Escape]

I had a lot of dreams in this short life of mine. I wanted to be a singer. Too bad I have a horrible voice. Recently, I took interest in metal singing. I am still horrible. Bearable to listen, but still under average.

My biggest dreams in this life is to be successful and loved. I am neither.

What about you lads? What is something that you wish for with all your heart but it will never come true?

To go back in time and get a chance to redo knowing everything I know now lol! I'd go back to at least age 19.

 

[StoleYoWaifu]

I want a place where I can farm and live completely by myself

But no, I must keep working 12-14 hours a day and say that I'm happy lol

 

[GAKitty]

Like Final Escape said, Going back in time with all that I know now sounds nice. I can relate relate to your wanting to be loved, First loss. That's something that really eats at me everyday. That and my body image drive me crazy... But yeah, the main thing I would want to do with going back in time would be to transition way earlier than I did.

 

[ExitTheDay]

I do "Metal" vocals myself, although I dont really consider myself a vocalist, I've constructed my own technique that I'm really comfortable with that I someday wish I can use in a band, remember this, for these types of vocals you never want to use your throat because that will really fuck up your vocal cords but instead breathe in with your diaphragm and just let it slip out, do not force anything though

 

[Abel]

...I want to have a friend. I know, super pathetic - I swear I have actual normal dreams lol. But I've been completely friendless for years now. And even back when I did have "friends", they weren't truly friends, but rather, just people who I would occasionally interact with at school, nowhere else.

I'm in university now, and I've tried doing volunteer work, joining clubs, chatting with people in lecture - what ends up happening is either the first conversation awkwardly fizzles out, or someone chats with me for a few days/weeks and then just ghosts me.

But I don't blame them. I have the personality and social skills of a moldy pear. I wouldn't want to be my own friend - anyone who doesn't want to be my friend is simply someone who has decent fucking standards lol. I know that the problem lies solely with me... which means it'll never be resolved because I'm far too gone.

At this point, I'm pretty much resigned to being alone, and I try to convince myself that it's better this way, but... I still get a bit sad whenever I see a group of friends hanging out.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

To be a novelist.
I'm a talented writer, but I know this dream will never come true.

 

[postmortem]

My dream is to be okay enough to live a life that can at least resemble something normal. I just want to be functional - not having breakdowns every two hours, being able to manage my studies and my social life, keep my family happy, that sort of thing.

Of course, I have bigger dreams too. I want to write one day and illustrate my books and have an impact on people. I want to do something for people. I want my life to have purpose.

...I want to have a friend. I know, super pathetic - I swear I have actual normal dreams lol. But I've been completely friendless for years now. And even back when I did have "friends", they weren't truly friends, but rather, just people who I would occasionally interact with at school, nowhere else.

I'm in university now, and I've tried doing volunteer work, joining clubs, chatting with people in lecture - what ends up happening is either the first conversation awkwardly fizzles out, or someone chats with me for a few days/weeks and then just ghosts me.

But I don't blame them. I have the personality and social skills of a moldy pear. I wouldn't want to be my own friend - anyone who doesn't want to be my friend is simply someone who has decent fucking standards lol. I know that the problem lies solely with me... which means it'll never be resolved because I'm far too gone.

At this point, I'm pretty much resigned to being alone, and I try to convince myself that it's better this way, but... I still get a bit sad whenever I see a group of friends hanging out.

I've lived as an outcast all my life, never really knowing where I fit in. This is extremely relatable.

 

[StillWaiting]

I wish to be able to draw well but I can't get myself to practice or I don't know why I am not getting it.

 

[not_a_robot]

I used to do some improv comedy and I wanted to write and direct movies, but once I realized I would never be able to withstand being around other people enough to make even a small project come together, I abandoned all of it. Later abandoned all attempts to participate in society at all.

I honestly felt relieved. To just let go of all that pressure to try to make myself understood. The isolation and peace of mind are worth giving up a dream. I have no desire to painstakingly produce anything that might bring others happiness. I am not one of them, I owe their society nothing and they don't want anything I have to share anyway.
win/win.

 

[Scribble Fan]

As others have said, to be a functional human being that finally belongs somewhere. I also wanted to find love and get married. Maybe make a living from artwork, I loved making music and wanted to try other art forms as well (writing and drawing).

That wasn't all but it doesn't really matter because I never got around to any of it and I'm not sure I want to anymore.

 

[not_a_robot]

...I want to have a friend. I know, super pathetic - I swear I have actual normal dreams lol. But I've been completely friendless for years now. And even back when I did have "friends", they weren't truly friends, but rather, just people who I would occasionally interact with at school, nowhere else.

I'm in university now, and I've tried doing volunteer work, joining clubs, chatting with people in lecture - what ends up happening is either the first conversation awkwardly fizzles out, or someone chats with me for a few days/weeks and then just ghosts me.

But I don't blame them. I have the personality and social skills of a moldy pear. I wouldn't want to be my own friend - anyone who doesn't want to be my friend is simply someone who has decent fucking standards lol. I know that the problem lies solely with me... which means it'll never be resolved because I'm far too gone.

At this point, I'm pretty much resigned to being alone, and I try to convince myself that it's better this way, but... I still get a bit sad whenever I see a group of friends hanging out.

You're wrong. The problem is not solely with you. Most people who are appearing to have normal social lives feel the same as you, they are just under pressure to keep up their act in order to feel they are "valid" and have status (both just illusions, societal constructs).

(break)
oh also want very badly to transition more toward male with testosterone and double mastectomy/hysterectomy but I hate doctors so much after everything they've put me through that I will never go to one willingly or trust one not to kill me during surgery.

I have begged for a hysterectomy and breast reduction since I was 18. My periods are MASSIVE in volume and knock me out for ten days a month.
At first doctors would laugh at me and if I became distressed and insisted I was serious they just called me hysterical/delusional.

SO I GUESS THAT MEANS I'M FEMALE, they said so! Lucky me! I get to drag these droopy heavy DD's around for life!

:(

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I wanted to be a smart, Einstein level person, and do something important with my life such as becoming president of my country, but I'm too stupid for that, and I can't do anything about it. Either you're genetically gifted with a high IQ, or you're not. I will never be a genius like I wanted to be, and that's actually my main reason for wanting to ctb.

 

[aliceliddel]

Marry with my boyfriend, have kids, live in a Forest house, be happy and die old with a lot of experientes.

 

[temp1234]

I have/had a lot of dreams, but I never have the motivation to even start towards any of them or I think that they are pretty impossible.
I wanted to be a
singer = can't sing
actress = chances are way too low
rich = like that's ever gonna happen
fashion designer = no creativity
artist = can't draw
director (like movies and stuff) = also low chance
writer = no creativity/can't write
cosplayer = no money plus not the right bod, and feel like I'm not good looking enough
producer/songwriter = no motivation to learn how to

Honestly, everything kinda stems from not having money and motivation I guess... A lot of my fantasies are usually escapism, where I wonder how my life would be if only I was/had ____. I also envy people who have a supportive group of friends or a best friend that they've known since forever. A partner would be nice too. In general when it comes to relationships, I'm the one at fault and I end up hating myself because I hurt other people so I'd rather not even attempt to befriend anyone, not to mention social anxiety. I always dream about running away and going to a new place hoping my life would be better, but I'm a pussy and there are so many logistics and risks that I guess I chose comfort over freedom.

At some point I even thought about going to prison. I'd be able to use my time for something productive like reading and working out. I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent and my bills. I know there's more to prison then just that, but it was a idea. I even thought of sugaring, but like I said, don't really have the face or the body, and I'm a prude so I'd prob hate myself more if I did that.

I guess one of my "perfect" scenarios would be living in a mountain or forest with a partner, not worrying about money and just using my time to garden and sew things, and watching late night movies with my partner. On the other spectrum, being a successful and rich actress/director and being able to create shows and movies how I envision them and sending my money to my family and supporting them off of my income.

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

I have/had a lot of dreams, but I never have the motivation to even start towards any of them or I think that they are pretty impossible.
I wanted to be a
singer = can't sing
actress = chances are way too low
rich = like that's ever gonna happen
fashion designer = no creativity
artist = can't draw
director (like movies and stuff) = also low chance
writer = no creativity/can't write
cosplayer = no money plus not the right bod, and feel like I'm not good looking enough
producer/songwriter = no motivation to learn how to

Honestly, everything kinda stems from not having money and motivation I guess... A lot of my fantasies are usually escapism, where I wonder how my life would be if only I was/had ____. I also envy people who have a supportive group of friends or a best friend that they've known since forever. A partner would be nice too. In general when it comes to relationships, I'm the one at fault and I end up hating myself because I hurt other people so I'd rather not even attempt to befriend anyone, not to mention social anxiety. I always dream about running away and going to a new place hoping my life would be better, but I'm a pussy and there are so many logistics and risks that I guess I chose comfort over freedom.

At some point I even thought about going to prison. I'd be able to use my time for something productive like reading and working out. I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent and my bills. I know there's more to prison then just that, but it was a idea. I even thought of sugaring, but like I said, don't really have the face or the body, and I'm a prude so I'd prob hate myself more if I did that.

I guess one of my "perfect" scenarios would be living in a mountain or forest with a partner, not worrying about money and just using my time to garden and sew things, and watching late night movies with my partner. On the other spectrum, being a successful and rich actress/director and being able to create shows and movies how I envision them and sending my money to my family and supporting them off of my income.

I can't tell you how much I relate to what you just said

I can't tell you how much I relate to what you just said

How you gonna CTB?

 

[Morphinekiss]

• Actually get my damn novel published. When my editor sent it back for revisions I just abandoned the project.
• Be a mother

 

[Kjo]

To be a novelist.
I'm a talented writer, but I know this dream will never come true.

Why? You can do self punishing, print on demand books with no upfront costs.

• Actually get my damn novel published. When my editor sent it back for revisions I just abandoned the project.
• Be a mother

Why did you abandon it?

You're wrong. The problem is not solely with you. Most people who are appearing to have normal social lives feel the same as you, they are just under pressure to keep up their act in order to feel they are "valid" and have status (both just illusions, societal constructs).

(break)
oh also want very badly to transition more toward male with testosterone and double mastectomy/hysterectomy but I hate doctors so much after everything they've put me through that I will never go to one willingly or trust one not to kill me during surgery.

I have begged for a hysterectomy and breast reduction since I was 18. My periods are MASSIVE in volume and knock me out for ten days a month.
At first doctors would laugh at me and if I became distressed and insisted I was serious they just called me hysterical/delusional.

SO I GUESS THAT MEANS I'M FEMALE, they said so! Lucky me! I get to drag these droopy heavy DD's around for life!

:(

There are other cities where doctors will take you seriously. Go get your transition. You can spend years building rapport with a good doctor, if you want.

You're not delusional at all. You deserve to be the you that you feel like. It's not too late. You can still change things.

Regardless, it's your life and your choice. Only you know what's best for you. Not trying to change your mind on anything. Best wishes.

 

[Severen]

Even if your dreams will come true one day, life will rip them into pieces one day as well and make you pay for it, 100 times more than it is worth. I think when people speak of success and selling their soul to the devil, they aren't speaking as if they literally sold their soul to the devil.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

I did want to be a voice actor. Or work in game development somehow. But I came to realize I'm just simply not the person for it. Also game development is tough. Those crunch hours... I couldn't. I'm already depressed enough.

 

[saomao]

my dream was to have a normal life, and now my dream is to have a peaceful suicide

 

[Morphinekiss]

Why did you abandon it?

I lost motivation? Also, It suddenly became a very intimate part of me that I decided I didn't want others to read.

 

[DepressionsAHo]

I had a lot of dreams in this short life of mine. I wanted to be a singer. Too bad I have a horrible voice. Recently, I took interest in metal singing. I am still horrible. Bearable to listen, but still under average.

My biggest dreams in this life is to be successful and loved. I am neither.

What about you lads? What is something that you wish for with all your heart but it will never come true?

To work for the FBI, CIA, homicide detective or human rights lawyer. I'd be ecstatic if they did but unfortunately, that's a fairy tale

 

[Help_Me]

I wanted to learn some stuff in music and i always wanted to have a wife and family... this will never come true. My biggest dream now is to die

 

[Imgonnahangmyself]

Even if your dreams will come true one day, life will rip them into pieces one day as well and make you pay for it, 100 times more than it is worth. I think when people speak of success and selling their soul to the devil, they aren't speaking as if they literally sold their soul to the devil.

What you don't think people actually sell their soul to the devil

 

[lululoo]

The biggest one was wanting to be loved, in a long-term romantic relationship. I had many hopes that didn't materialize but that one is the hardest to deal with.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Why? You can do self punishing, print on demand books with no upfront costs.

Why did you abandon it?

There are other cities where doctors will take you seriously. Go get your transition. You can spend years building rapport with a good doctor, if you want.

You're not delusional at all. You deserve to be the you that you feel like. It's not too late. You can still change things.

Regardless, it's your life and your choice. Only you know what's best for you. Not trying to change your mind on anything. Best wishes.

I don't think I can realistically make a living with this passion. Even though I know I'm talented as a writer, I don't think I'll be marketable to a mainstream American audience. There is a glass ceiling in the creative industry for people of my ethnicity. And I absolutely don't want to make this a "side hobby."

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

I had a lot of dreams in this short life of mine. I wanted to be a singer. Too bad I have a horrible voice. Recently, I took interest in metal singing. I am still horrible. Bearable to listen, but still under average.

My biggest dreams in this life is to be successful and loved. I am neither.

What about you lads? What is something that you wish for with all your heart but it will never come true?

To find a tribe... love? Acceptance? True companionship?

So... same.

Hugs!

 

[temp1234]

I can't tell you how much I relate to what you just said

How you gonna CTB?

Can't tell if that's a general question or directed at me. But I'm hoping N or something similar.