yes, sorry it was a joke. also i do think most things are out of our control, and yes we can control our mindset and what we consume, but after a certain degree of trauma is quite literally rewires your brain. like a child that grew up knowing abuse will never think the same as a child that grew up feeling loved. maybe after years and years of therapy and other shit, but still itll never be the same.
I'm really still wrestling with this one. There are members who argue for hardcore determinism. I understand it to an extent. I think our life experiences, genes, upbringing make it more probable we will act in certain ways.
In the worst case scenarios, where we are tempted to do criminal acts and hurt others- I guess it intrigues me as to how some still resist though. Is it still the result of their biology/ ingrained morals/ natural empathy that stops them? Or, is everyone ultimately capable of stopping themselves? Are some people truly more out of control than others? Can they truly justify the things they're doing?
I believe some paedophiles like to think the child is enjoying it but, do they truly believe that? Do they truly think the child would choose that without being groomed? Do they think every child would enjoy that? How can they? It's obvious that it destroys so many of their lives.
I suppose my feeling is that it is an intricate mesh of likely behaviours and, choices in that moment. I do still believe we have a choice though. I also believe that the majority of us know when we are about to do something not so great.
If there's any hesitation there. If there's a plan to do it in secret- that shows an awareness that we're not sure it's a 'good' action to do. We're hesitating/ deliberating. In that moment- we can choose which part of ourselves to act on. Effectively- what we want more I imagine- most of the time.
In that instance, we know if we're acting on something good or not so great or, outright bad though. So- I think we deserve to be held responsible if we take the very bad route.
That's my biggest issue with determinism. That it ignores all sense of responsibility and, accountability. We need to be taught to be accountable otherwise, it will just be chaos. Not everyone will follow the rules. If it's not their 'fault' that they deliberately harm others either, I just think that's a recipe for chaos.
I used to have really big problems binging on food plus, limerence. Both of those actions gave me huge amounts of pleasure. So naturally- my brain wanted to do them all the time. I could see both were screwing up my life though. So, I made huge efforts to stop. They both felt like addictions. But, I knew that feeding them would only make them worse.
I think it's a chicken and egg scenario in a way. If I don't buy certain foods and I don't overeat on others, chances are, I'll fend off a desire to binge. If I notice I'm starting to obsess about a guy, I force myself to stop before it becomes a full on crush. Those weaknesses will always be there for me but, there are ways to manage them- via choosing which behaviours I do.
I guess the choice to follow one behaviour over another may not entirely be ours. I guess most of the time, we try to avoid pain. I know that binging and limerence is great in the moment but, painful in the long-term. That encourages me to control myself. I'd hope that if an action I wanted to do would really hurt another, that would stop me also. I just find it hard to believe that other people aren't considering these things.
It's very difficult to even know how another person thinks though. I do agree with you that trauma, especially in childhood must have a profound affect on how the brain develops. I suppose I still think exactly how we proceed with that trauma is driven by thousands of choices though. If our temptation is to then do harm ourselves- especially towards others, each one of those choices is a chance to address what we're doing. No matter how tempting it is. People do realise they're doing bad things. It's why we try to hide them.