Yesterday was a really bad day, and I started writing my suicide note

[BitterlyAlive]

I couldn't focus enough to write more than two paragraphs. My mind feels like mush. I just feel totally numb today.

 

[I screwed up]

If u wanna talk about anything we are here. U could also pm me if needed.

 

[FriendofDeath]

You know, with me I have accepted my current numbness, because it's helping me to survive. But then the numbness affects so much else, including your ability to concentrate or do things like writing your note. Maybe you can try to find a way to ease the pressure you are feeling, or maybe you can do something verbally. Wishing yoh can find some peace.

 

[Despondent]

Don't beat yourself up about it ❤ Writing these kinds of notes aren't easy alone. I'm the same way except I have the mind of a potato

 

[ChoclateIsSweet]

I tried writing my note yesterday too but it sounded too much like a list of demands on how to take care of my plants. So I gave up and went to sleep for the rest of the day.

 

[KUA]

Why not leave a video? I am thinking of doing that. It will make it a lot more personal to them and require less time

 

[fatmanatee]

Those days are the worst. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to write something, but the same kind of thing. There's nobody to read it. So, I just stop.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

If u wanna talk about anything we are here. U could also pm me if needed.

Thanks mate. I appreciate your offer, but I think I say too much when I PM people.

You know, with me I have accepted my current numbness, because it's helping me to survive. But then the numbness affects so much else, including your ability to concentrate or do things like writing your note. Maybe you can try to find a way to ease the pressure you are feeling, or maybe you can do something verbally. Wishing yoh can find some peace.

I'll just write more on Monday after I've finished working and gotten some sleep. Hopefully that will clear the muck out a bit.

Don't beat yourself up about it ❤ Writing these kinds of notes aren't easy alone. I'm the same way except I have the mind of a potato

Yeah. I may have to go about it like how I wrote my essays in school. Funnily enough, that's how I wrote my pseudo-suicide note.

I tried writing my note yesterday too but it sounded too much like a list of demands on how to take care of my plants. So I gave up and went to sleep for the rest of the day.

Did sleeping help at all?

Why not leave a video? I am thinking of doing that. It will make it a lot more personal to them and require less time

I always prefer writing. It's easier to express myself. It's okay if it takes a little longer. Good suggestion though.

Those days are the worst. I'm sorry.

I've been trying to write something, but the same kind of thing. There's nobody to read it. So, I just stop.

It sucked, but today was better. I worked today, sat a patient and we watched movies all day. Talking to him and just hanging out got me out of my head for a few hours. The first half the day was horrible though. Kept tearing up and panicking lmao.

Some people post their notes on websites like Reddit. I'm not sure if anyone here has done that, but is it something that seems worth considering? It sucks because it's immortalized and super public, but it wouldn't be wasted effort; people like me would read it. I'm not asking you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. It's just a silly idea.

 

[Saga]

Why not leave a video? I am thinking of doing that. It will make it a lot more personal to them and require less time

a video would be easier..Ive done it before...but sadly i wasnt successful in my attempt so here i am living...a shell of emptiness

 

[KUA]

a video would be easier..Ive done it before...but sadly i wasnt successful in my attempt so here i am living...a shell of emptiness

Did your family see the video?