Wtf is wrong with me

[NotOkay_]

I've been planning to ctb for a few days and I just can't seem to go through with it. I feel trapped like nowhere to go.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I've been planning for years and can't go through with it.

 

[Chiisai]

I've been planning to ctb for a few days and I just can't seem to go through with it. I feel trapped like nowhere to go.

Heeey I feel you. Youre not alone. Been struggling with it for almost a year now. Its really a hard decision to make and go through especially since there is no turning back once the deed is done.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

There might be something you are forgetting to do. Maybe take some time to review your plan?

 

[Pluto]

I think many of us are in this boat. There is no need to pressure yourself. Hopefully you will feel a lot of peace knowing that you are not going to be forcibly trapped here for decades.

 

[blueming]

Thinking about taking your own life is one thing, actually going through with it is very different. Humans are hardwired for survival so overcoming that instinct isn't easy :/ I believe many members here are in similar predicaments.

It's a difficult and scary thing to do so please don't feel the need to rush anything. Something that helps me deal with this state of "limbo" is knowing that I'll always have the option to go whenever I feel the time is right.

 

[deadverysoon]

ugly feeling...

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel. It is difficult to exit this world and I feel held back by the SI and also the fear of failing a method. It is awful to feel trapped, I'm sorry you are suffering. The thing that I want is to fall into an eternal sleep and be free from this existence. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[PinkSakura]

Don't feel bad, I bought sn weeks ago and I can't bring myself to drink it yet

 

[NotOkay_]

Don't feel bad, I bought sn weeks ago and I can't bring myself to drink it yet

Same, i have 2 methods and It's been a struggle.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Something that helps me deal with this state of "limbo" is knowing that I'll always have the option to go whenever I feel the time is right.

But what good does that do when you know even though you have a method yet you know you still cant bring yourself to ctb?!?

 

[NotOkay_]

But what good does that do when you know even though you have a method yet you know you still cant bring yourself to ctb?!?

It's hell tbh. worse feeling ever

 

[Snake of Eden]

It's hell tbh. worse feeling ever

It absolutely is

 

[NotOkay_]

It absolutely is

What's holding you back?

 

[blueming]

But what good does that do when you know even though you have a method yet you know you still cant bring yourself to ctb?!?

Personally, it's better than the agony and uncertainty I felt when I didn't have a way out at all. Even just having a reliable method on hand and knowing that I have the means to end my suffering if things get too hard makes living slightly more bearable. Also I can't speak for anyone else but for me, suicide is inevitable. I know I'll ctb sooner or later.

 

[Snake of Eden]

What's holding you back?

Fears of death, metaphysical after life consequences, causing great grief for family

 

[NotOkay_]

Fears of death, metaphysical after life consequences, causing great grief for family

Yeah I understand that x

 

[Snake of Eden]

Personally, it's better than the agony and uncertainty I felt when I didn't have a way out at all. Even just having a reliable method on hand and knowing that I have the means to end my suffering if things get too hard makes living slightly more bearable. Also I can't speak for anyone else but for me, suicide is inevitable. I know I'll ctb sooner or later.

Maybe in your case. I know i have to ctb to end my suffering or it wont end. I still cant say that I know i will eventually do it sooner or later because that means i have to know the future which i dont. So just because I know ctb is my only way out of suffering doesnt mean i know i will do it

 

[FireFox]

I've been planning to ctb for a few days and I just can't seem to go through with it. I feel trapped like nowhere to go.

It means you are not sure . I have those moments as well. I plan to kill myself and the desire is strong then something happens in which I can't go ahead with it .

It is frustrating.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

What's holding you back?

1. Fear of failing a ctb attempt and remaining alive with brain damage . 2. excuses made up by si or my brain molded by decades of pro-life brainwashing from everywhere ( this site is the only place where my pro-choice in regards to suicide viewpoint was validated by others ). i don't want to hurt family members.

 

[NotOkay_]

1. Fear of failing a ctb attempt and remaining alive with brain damage . 2. excuses made up by si or my brain molded by decades of pro-life brainwashing from everywhere ( this site is the only place where my pro-choice in regards to suicide viewpoint was validated by others ). i don't want to hurt family members.

Same x

 

[sadpinky]

Same

 

[NotOkay_]

At this point I am willing to take my chances