Wow this is hardcore

[whatevs]

I'm going through some heavy duty depression right now. It's like there's a hole in my chest and nothing interests me, yet I'm not planning to kill myself. It's just a thought that creeps closer.

I get stupid thoughts like 'Why are people engaged with life'? I lost most of my libido and sexual function some years ago, haven't felt energetic and refreshed from sleep in 10 years. I think there's nothing profound or existential in my angst, I'm just a husk of who I could be with physical health.

But yeah on top of that I'm aware of a horrible presence in society, directing it's movement, its inertia. Something worse than forced masking or domestic arrest is on its way. It's actually very fucking stressful to be aware of this, and I've endured that for many years now. I also think climate doom will happen soon.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

That's not a stupid thought man I always wonder why people engage in this shitty life and they seem so happy more like they are the delusional ones imo

 

[GentleJerk]

Lately, I really do feel like shit is about to hit the fan. I guess in a strange way, I'm glad it's not just me. I don't know what exactly it is either, could be a bunch of stuff... but one thing's for sure- it's coming.

Depression is brutal. Physical suffering doesn't even make me think about suicide as much as the hollow terror of depression and sadness that I feel when I'm not with my daughter, when I think about my dad suffering with his cancer atm, or the thought of losing my mother one day. May the weight spontaneously lift from your shoulders.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Lately, I really do feel like shit is about to hit the fan. I guess in a strange way, I'm glad it's not just me. I don't know what exactly it is either, could be a bunch of stuff... but one thing's for sure- it's coming.

Depression is brutal. Physical suffering doesn't even make me think about suicide as much as the hollow terror of depression and sadness that I feel when I'm not with my daughter, when I think about my dad suffering with his cancer atm, or the thought of losing my mother one day. May the weight spontaneously lift from your shoulders.

Sorry to hear your suffering so much

 

[whatevs]

That's not a stupid thought man I always wonder why people engage in this shitty life and they seem so happy more like they are the delusional ones imo

But if they're enjoying themselves it doesn't make a difference to call it delusion. I mean, in this particular era I feel we CAN call it delusion, since the modern way of living is wholly unsustainable and many will die in this decade, but overall if you are feeling good you are 'winning', even if it's a delusion.

Also I feel like normal people just have some basic items that permit them to enjoy existing, they don't need to be delusional to be happy, although most people tend to be (it was religion in the past, now trusting Science and the Experts).