Discussion Would you prefer your body to be found or not?

[omni]

I feel like this is a pretty interesting topic and I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this. For me personally I would much rather not have anyone know it was a suicide and to never find my body rather than find my body the morning after I CTB. I feel like for me personally I wouldn't want anyone to have to go through the trauma of having to find my body but I can see the argument that it could be considered selfish making public servants look for me when I'm already gone.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Not sure if I plan to CTB yet but these are my thoughts:

My family and friends are the type to hate the unknown. I know at least one of them would go absolutely insane if they didn't find my body.

But. If I can find a way to convince them all that I just eloped somewhere happily, maybe I'd try to keep my body from being found.

It's just hard imagining my mother having to identify my body. Maybe I can put in my note to only have my dad do that. He's abusive as fuck anyway, so he can see what he did. But then again, bodies don't always have clothes on in the morgue so

I guess I'd hope my body was too decomposed to have to do that when it was found.

 

[omni]

It's just hard imagining my mother having to identify my body.

Yeah this part was the biggest part for me I just can't imagine putting my mom through that.

My family and friends are the type to hate the unknown. I know at least one of them would go absolutely insane if they didn't find my body.

This is a good point I feel like the unknown would be so sad having to put my family through this guessing game and always wondering whether I'm alive or not or if they'll ever see me again.

 

[BillyBob]

Want my body to be found just for my family. Would not want them questioning everything.
Just feels like it is the least I could do to bring less harm when I CTB.

 

[Mint Floss]

I don't want to be found. I wish I knew how to disappear forever

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

Yeah this part was the biggest part for me I just can't imagine putting my mom through that.

This is a good point I feel like the unknown would be so sad having to put my family through this guessing game and always wondering whether I'm alive or not or if they'll ever see me again.

And it would keep them wondering if you're chained up being tortured every day in someone's basement. If you're just missing, the fear that you're being hurt and every minute of every day will be agony for them, it will be all consuming, they won't ever be able to enjoy anything, no way to get closure, find a way to make peace with it or ever come to terms with it & put it behind them. It would keep them in a perpetual state of mental torture & rob them of any hope of peace of mind for the rest of their lives, basically.

 

[Unlucky777]

If I had it my way, I'd CTB, and not be found ever. Truthfully I'd like to just disappear into thin air as if I never existed. That's my ultimate fantasy, to just vanish without a trace never to be seen from or heard from like I never existed.

 

[omni]

And it would keep them wondering if you're chained up being tortured every day in someone's basement. If you're just missing, the fear that you're being hurt and every minute of every day will be agony for them, it will be all consuming, they won't ever be able to enjoy anything, no way to get closure, find a way to make peace with it or ever come to terms with it & put it behind them. It would keep them in a perpetual state of mental torture & rob them of any hope of peace of mind for the rest of their lives, basically.

I think while some people might take this as just an over exaggeration my mom is very prone to overthinking and I really think this helped kinda shed some light onto what might come across my moms mind in the circumstance that I CTB in a place my body may not be found. I think this might change my opinion on this topic as a whole just from the sheer fact I don't wish that for my mom or really anyone on this planet.

 

[february flyer]

I've always dreamed of completely disappearing as if I have never existed in the first place when I CTB. I don't want the trauma of seeing a corpse to be inflicted on my family or civilians either.

I'd like them to have closure, though. I'd probably set up some sort of deadswitch to send a note out so they could know what happened to me.

 

[DeathByBananabread]

i hate the fact that i even HAVE a body, as much as i've tried to accept it. i hate the fact that i'm just a self-contained chemical soup standing upright & able to conceptualize something different (being bodyless) without that being a reality that could actually happen in, well, actual reality. i hate that other people have taught me to view my body in such a gross way & i hate that i project that onto others at this point & continue the cycle of abuse.

if i could snap my fingers & suddenly be poof-gone, i would love to do that. the fact i'm going to leave a body behind that will need cleanup & inevitably traumatize people makes me so sad. i'm kind of jealous of people who went missing & were never found.

the only thing i would like if it were possible is to maybe contribute to some snuff for the small subset of the population that gets some comfort out of that. i would at least feel useful & die in peace. i don't want to die a gory or painful death but if someone took any sort of positive emotion out of my dead visage more all the more power to them.

 

[Reishi]

I wouldn't care either way , by that point I'll be dead so I wouldn't have any emotions towards it.

 

[assassinlord82]

I'd at least want someone to find me to give closure but really I could not care

 

[FuneralCry]

If it's up to me I'd choose to completely erase this existence so it's like I never suffered, to suffer in this existence truly is the most terrible abomination, I'll just always prefer to not exist than suffer in this harmful, torturous existence I just always saw as a cruel mistake but only never suffering at all is true perfection to me.

All I want is peace from this evil, futile existence of unnecessary suffering and the suffering this existence causes is endless with no limit as to how much one can be tortured but it really wouldn't matter to me whether I'm found as after all if I don't exist then this dreadful, torturous existence that just tortures existing beings will no longer be my problem which is all I could ever hope for. In this existence where there is all this torture, cruelty and suffering for me non-existence is all that's positive, for me ceasing to exist would solve everything and would be the only peace for me from the evil of existing.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I want to be found. Really ideally- I'd want the chance to die at a clinic where no police or anyone else would have to be involved but, I'd rather die on my own terms- when I've had enough. Not when some doctor grants me their permission.

I tend to think just disappearing creates more worry for families though. Because I imagine they consider suicide regardless. They may also consider even more horrific things though- like abduction and murder. They may even be accused of it! It's seemingly often someone we know when it's homicide. I tend to feel like going missing just extends the amount of time they feel trauma. Many families even just saying- they just want to know- if they can't figure it out.

I also think it's much harder to just disappear these days. Even people talking about it here. Presumably- all of that will be recovered after a disappearance or suspicious death so- they'll presumably realise the person was considering it. It definitely doesn't seem like it creates less trauma than a suicide though- to me. And, if people wipe all their history/ internet presence- again- why would they do that?

Maybe if it looks like a death by misadventure but then- why did they disappear to do it? It feels like it will look like suicide from the start (to me.)

 

[e!kent]

I feel like this is a pretty interesting topic and I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this.

In the past I felt so disgusted with my body that I couldn't CTB. I hated the fact that someone would see me naked (autopsy), and in general I wanted to disappear completely.
I still think so, but I'm so tired that it's no longer an obstacle.

 

[everydaythesame]

I'd hate my body to be found, just the thought of people who have hurt me get the opportunity to grieve at my funeral just to make themselves feel better. my worst nightmare.

 

[Forveleth]

If I had my choice, I would die in the middle of nowhere and let nature take its course. However, I will probably kill myself in my house so someone is going to find me and I have to hope they bury me the way I want. Alas.

 

[ceelobling]

I'd prefer if my body wasn't found, because I wish I never existed. If my body was never found, it's almost as if I never existed. When you're buried, you're being acknowledged that this was a living person that died and this grave is in remembrance of them, but if I'm not found, there is no physical proof of me, and it's almost like I never existed.

 

[gasforme]

I live alone and figured if I don't send anyone a note it could take months to discover me and I'll be long gone by then.

 

[MrNobody88]

I wouldn't care either way , by that point I'll be dead so I wouldn't have any emotions towards it.

Exactly how I think about it