Would parents react better to murder or suicide?

[down for the count]

Given the stigma of suicide and the fact that it may cause self blame for loved ones which would cause less pain?

 

[lofticries]

Suicide considering the murderer would still be left on this earth. In suicide the murderer and the victim die at the same time.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is hard to say for me. Both of these will cause family members a lot of pain. I think with suicide there is an attitude that 'it could have been prevented', just because the person chose to leave this world, and people may have guilt as they believe they could have done something to stop it. I think maybe suicide would cause more pain.

 

[FohPah]

If the bereaved loved the victim, I'm guessing suicide feels worse than murder. Suicide means the person is dead, *and* they were miserable, *and* the bereaved didn't stop it from happening. The bereaved will always have a nagging voice that says I should have noticed the signs, I should have reached out more, I shouldn't have said this and that, etc. Even if the voice is wrong, it can still tear someone up inside.

 

[Anonymous_A]

i was about to say "clearly suicide" but then I randomly searched murder/ suicide rates on google and it seems Suicide is much more common.
Which makes me wonder, wouldn't it make sense for something that happens less often, be more shocking?

Anyways ima choose suicide, nobody really finds the exact reason why people take their own life. Therefore they'll always question it.

Damn, these days people go crazy when they can't figure out why somebody hasn't replied to them. Even when a girl/dude has ghosted them, since they don't know the reason they seem to go batshit crazy lol

 

[suicidesheep31]

For a suicide, they might feel guilty to not have prevented it.
For a murder, they might feel angry against the murder and not themselves.
I don't know what is the worse.
An accident should be the less worse to grief.

 

[WatermelonMel]

For suicide the victim intended on dying. Murder is much darker.

 

[motel rooms]

We shall know the answer only if we kidnap as many parents as we can & force them to choose between being murdered & committing suicide

 

[Nutshell]

The murderer will have to live with that or kill themselves and then that's two lives down the pan.

Kinda like how you wouldn't interfere with a bird of prey attacking another bird because the bird dies anyway and then the bird of prey either dies of starvation or has to start all over with a new prey and that's two (plus any unfed babies) birds dead.

Actually they aren't the same at all but thats what came to mind.

 

[Ironweed]

Probably murder, especially if it was a random case of the victim being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As in, in a bank during a robbery, that sort of thing. To my mind, a small step removed from an accident or a death from a disease.

 

[Nutshell]

Another perspective is that if you're murdered the choice or the concept of it from other's point of view is taken from you.
That may cause more anguish.
Family may already have an incling in a few cases. I know my family are aware. It would be interesting to ask them this but I don't know how I would do that without freaking them out..

 

[toforigivelife]

They wouldn't react well to either scenario.

I know this doesn't help with your desire to cbt, but neither of these scenarios would go over well.

At least with suicide it was your decision and you're in control (in a way) but unless your parents honestly don't care it will be painful either way.

Murder? That would just add about a million layers to their pain.

No way that your parents can help you through this? I hope I'm not asking a stupid question but have you given the opportunity to try and help you?

 

[down for the count]

It is not a stupid question. My problem is that I think differently than most people which people don't like. I fear if I told my parents of my suicidal ideation they might try to hospitalize me. Also, since I have a diagnosis of mental illness, my dad, who is a doctor tends to not believe what I am telling him. This also goes for my psychologist and psychiatrist. This issue has affected me since I was young and I am tired of it. My psychiatrist has told me that I have very low self esteem but I am not smart enough to understand how it is affecting me.

 

[toforigivelife]

It is not a stupid question. My problem is that I think differently than most people which people don't like. I fear if I told my parents of my suicidal ideation they might try to hospitalize me. Also, since I have a diagnosis of mental illness, my dad, who is a doctor tends to not believe what I am telling him. This also goes for my psychologist and psychiatrist. This issue has affected me since I was young and I am tired of it. My psychiatrist has told me that I have very low self esteem but I am not smart enough to understand how it is affecting me.

I understand why you don't want to be hospitalized.

Your dad might have the idea that this psychiatrist and medication will fix your problems.

Your psychiatrist told you that you're not smart enough to figure out your self-esteem issues? That's not very supportive. Or helpful. Or professional.

I wonder if they were trying to get your attention or trying to get you to see the light.

It would be nice if you could talk openly with your parents and tell them that you don't need a hospital but some love and understanding and some breathing room.

Talk to your dad about finding a new psychiatrist if you feel this one is abusive or being a bully.

I don't know, since you're dealing with ideation, people have found relief through psychedelic therapy. Your parents may not be crazy about the idea but if psychiatry and meds are not helping, maybe they'd think about it.

 

[down for the count]

I understand why you don't want to be hospitalized.

Your dad might have the idea that this psychiatrist and medication will fix your problems.

Your psychiatrist told you that you're not smart enough to figure out your self-esteem issues? That's not very supportive. Or helpful. Or professional.

I wonder if they were trying to get your attention or trying to get you to see the light.

It would be nice if you could talk openly with your parents and tell them that you don't need a hospital but some love and understanding and some breathing room.

Talk to your dad about finding a new psychiatrist if you feel this one is abusive or being a bully.

I don't know, since you're dealing with ideation, people have found relief through psychedelic therapy. Your parents may not be crazy about the idea but if psychiatry and meds are not helping, maybe they'd think about it.

Thank you for your response. I should make clear that my psychiatrist didn't tell me I wasn't intelligent enough to understand my self esteem issues. That was something I decided on my own.

 

[toforigivelife]

Thank you for your response. I should make clear that my psychiatrist didn't tell me I wasn't intelligent enough to understand my self esteem issues. That was something I decided on my own.

Oh. You read that into their response or into what they actually said.

I wish I had the perfect advice but I don't.

I'm not a big of medication but I do hope you keep working with your psychiatrist.

You've got esteem and a lot of issues going on and I wish I could help.

Maybe it would be good if you told your psychiatrist, "You said this about my self-esteem and this is how I took it."

That might give them an idea of what the problem is or how bad your depression is.

I really do wish you all the best.