Worst year in my life, yet i feel decent

[Szarur-abi]

As in title, this year was probably one of the worst so far from ammount of bad things happening to me yet.

My girlfriend broke up with me for another man in march, then my academic performance suffered and i failed a year which caused me to consider CTB cause all my efforts and three years of life on university was worthless. I also went on dates, when i recovered a bit but they went terribly meaning my feelings got hurt like a lot, i had a relation with girl that told me i was the best person she knew in her entire life and she invited me to her home where we shared an intimate time but once we woke up she said she is seeing someone else and that i should leave, that made me feel... a lotta bad things obviously.

Then i got a job, minimal paid no prospects on future with it, met a person then we were meeting regurly in situationship and i fell in love with her and i told her about my fear of being abonded by people and whatddya know she left me week ago, meanwhile my dog that i know for 12 years and is very dear to me got cancerous tumour and she grows weaker everyday and will be dead in a span of few weeks... Also i dont really have any prospects on future. But

Despite all bad things happening this year i dont feel an urge to kill myself immedientialy like i did for all these years, i still rationally think it would be optimal but i dont feel emotionaly about this despite, objectively lot of bad things happened this year...

Thought i should share, have a relatively nice day in this cruel world stranger

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

That's a great spot to be in, kudos to you

 

[_Gollum_]

I'm in a similar position. 2024 has been the second-worst year of my life and yet as I approach the end, the emotional impetus to get me to follow through on what I still believe to be the most optimal path for my life, has all but disintegrated. I find it a very uncomfortable position to be in, tbh. Goes to show that suffering is about a lot more than just your external circumstances.

 

[Abbadab]

Sounds like you've built up your resilience which is awesome. Kudos, it's no small feat.

I was treading water and doing relatively well in spite of a lot of bad stuff until recently. I think it's made me realize how much of my problem is biochemical :p