Honestly this doesn't even make sense. I've written about my family before here and how abusive they are. The thing that worries me is that my parents have never really enabled us to gain independence, and so we've become very enmeshed in a toxic sense. My parents preach about the importance of family and staying together, but I think it's just leverage for them to control us. I'd feel better about killing myself if I'd managed to get away and live independently because at least they would have seen me as my own, separate person.
My mother is already unstable, and I don't think she is able to divorce her sense of self from us/our achievements etc. So I worry about this pushing her over the edge or affecting my parents' marriage.
Honestly, I don't know why this is bothering me. They've inflicted so much pain on me and ruined my life. But I guess I don't want to spread more unnecessary hurt. I'd feel better if they just blamed me and moved on.
If I've been sick and dysfunctional for a long time, is there any way my suicide could be a relief, even for a narcissist? What's ironic is they'd have the support of friends, each other etc whereas I've had none.
My mother is already unstable, and I don't think she is able to divorce her sense of self from us/our achievements etc. So I worry about this pushing her over the edge or affecting my parents' marriage.
Honestly, I don't know why this is bothering me. They've inflicted so much pain on me and ruined my life. But I guess I don't want to spread more unnecessary hurt. I'd feel better if they just blamed me and moved on.
If I've been sick and dysfunctional for a long time, is there any way my suicide could be a relief, even for a narcissist? What's ironic is they'd have the support of friends, each other etc whereas I've had none.
